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leftcoast
Member
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Posted: Sun May 4th, 2008 03:40 am |
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My daughter absolutely loves getting packages from me -- she calls me after she receives them and gushes about how I' m the best mom in the whole wide world... no matter how small the gift. (She's always been like this -- very easy to please in the gift department, not like my son who is more likely to gripe that I got the wrong color or paid too much for whatever I sent, though I have to say that my son has gotten a lot more gracious about gifts since he has been living on his own and supporting himself.
But regular packages are nice. I just keep some flat-, rate boxes around the house and stuff them over time -- sometime just with stuff from around the house. My d. has been cooking for herself & buying her own food this yearly, so she appreciates any food items she can get.
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HijinksAndSue
Member
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Posted: Sun May 4th, 2008 03:11 pm |
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LOL about the husband also sneaking them off ... my husband was the one who'd send the candy they weren't supposed to have at camp! But yeah, he also enjoyed sending along the occasional "goodie box," usually with a few cool CDs etc.
I wonder, when you worry about "impeding independence," if there is a line between sending "oh, here are warm woolen mittens because my little pumpkin's fingers will be cold in the Boston winter" and "found this great 'Flight of the Conchords' bootleg video you might enjoy" ... I'd totally be all over the latter (IS there a 'Flight of the Conchords' bootleg video?). The former, I'd let her buy her own mittens.
I will add though that being in downtown Boston I don't think they have any big box stores like Target within easy distance of her school and she has no car so she'll be dependent on what's in walking distance or carry-able on the T. She's already requested we make an IKEA run when we come up for her 18th birthday (two weeks after school starts).
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orchestramom
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| Joined: | Thu Mar 9th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 113 |
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Posted: Sun May 4th, 2008 07:42 pm |
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I have confronted impending empty-nest-dom with a radical personal change -- I've got a wonderful new job! At the beginning of the year, without making a New Year's resolution (too old for that, know what happens to those plans) I simply put my intention to the world: acknowledged that this was going to be a big year of transition, that I needed to start focusing on me, and that I would be "open to possibility." And the most wonderful possibility came my way!
I will leave my current job (where I've been employed for nearly 21 years!) with wonderful friends and great memories, and I am feeling incredibly re-charged already at the prospect of diving into something new.
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CarolynLawrence
Administrator
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | USA |
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Posted: Sun May 4th, 2008 07:49 pm |
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| Congratulations, Orchestramom! I love how you said you put your intention out there in the universe - it is funny how well that works sometimes, isn't it?
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outwest
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 4th, 2007 |
| Location: | CA |
| Posts: | 644 |
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Posted: Sun May 4th, 2008 11:54 pm |
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I will be an empty nester, too. D is the third and last. It will be nice to have the house stay clean.
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skibum
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
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Posted: Mon May 5th, 2008 03:54 am |
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Just joining the "soon to be empty-nesters" thread. Weird sensation... You mean we will be allowed to do something for ourselves? Put something away where it belongs and it'll be there when we look for it? Oh wait, DH will still be around. Never mind.
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ellenrch
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| Joined: | Fri Aug 24th, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 88 |
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Posted: Mon May 5th, 2008 02:35 pm |
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Empty-nester-to-be here, too (only child). Orchestramom, you're inspiring! I want to jump-start/revitalize my business, take longer walks, spend more quality time with my H, and be a "good mom" in a very different way. I see the maturity leaps in my S lately. I look forward to following his lead. I will miss him a whole lot, but I think it will be just different, not worse.
Right now I am more upset about the prospect of him registering with Selective Service than I am about him leaving for college!Last edited on Mon May 5th, 2008 02:45 pm by ellenrch
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kdmom
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| Joined: | Sun Jun 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | Washington USA |
| Posts: | 126 |
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Posted: Mon May 5th, 2008 10:07 pm |
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Care packages -- ha!
Halfway through my older son's first semester, I got a phone call from him telling me about all the great stuff his dorm-mates' mothers were sending them to boost their spirits for mid-term exams. I took the hint and made a batch of his favorite cookies. In order to be sure they'd still be delicious when they arrived, I packed them securely and immediately took them to the post office where I paid an exorbitant amount to have them delivered by next-day air. What did my son do? He let them sit in the campus mail-room for a week before he even opened them! He said, "No, Mom, they don't taste too stale."
Halfway through my younger son's first semester, he called me with the same tale of envy and longing. I told him the story of his brother's care package, and he assured me that he was by far the more responsible offspring and would never let such a thing occur. So, again, I baked, packed, and shipped. What did my son do? He let them sit in the campus mail-room for a week...
Yeah, I don't think they really need care packages!
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Lupine
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| Joined: | Thu May 17th, 2007 |
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Posted: Mon May 5th, 2008 11:46 pm |
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kdmom wrote: Care packages -- ha!
Halfway through my older son's first semester, I got a phone call from him telling me about all the great stuff his dorm-mates' mothers were sending them to boost their spirits for mid-term exams. I took the hint and made a batch of his favorite cookies. In order to be sure they'd still be delicious when they arrived, I packed them securely and immediately took them to the post office where I paid an exorbitant amount to have them delivered by next-day air. What did my son do? He let them sit in the campus mail-room for a week before he even opened them! He said, "No, Mom, they don't taste too stale."
Halfway through my younger son's first semester, he called me with the same tale of envy and longing. I told him the story of his brother's care package, and he assured me that he was by far the more responsible offspring and would never let such a thing occur. So, again, I baked, packed, and shipped. What did my son do? He let them sit in the campus mail-room for a week...
Yeah, I don't think they really need care packages!
Too funny. I had a roomate from San Francisco whose mom would mail her coffee cans full of homemade Ghiradehli chocolate chocolate chip cookies, and they were unbelievably good. Out of this world good. We got the recipe, and got her mom to send down some ground chocolate and chocolate chips, but they never came out the same. Eventually we figured out that three days in the coffee can was the difference. Of course, the chance that college students could make cookies and not eat them for three days is a small chance indeed.
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orangesulfur
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| Joined: | Sat Jul 7th, 2007 |
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Posted: Tue May 6th, 2008 01:51 am |
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I'm a believer in care packages, but I guess it depends on the kid! I have been sending them for 2 years and know they are appreciated. A little taste of home.
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Chedva
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Posted: Tue May 6th, 2008 12:54 pm |
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| I've learned not to send anything that could go too stale! That lets out cookies, cakes, etc, but does not include chocolate!
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orangesulfur
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Posted: Tue May 6th, 2008 01:55 pm |
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I do send brownies because, if I must say so myself, I have the world's best brownie recipe! I send them overnight! Costs a fortune, so I do this for special occasions only!
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HijinksAndSue
Member
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Posted: Tue May 6th, 2008 05:14 pm |
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I went to school in the outreaches of western Mass. but grew up in NYC ... my grandmother used to send me a dozen bagels via overnight mail. They didn't get stale because I had no trouble sharing them very quickly.
Plus, I think brownies are the best when they're a little stale.
I once overnighted my daughter an Auntie Anne's pretzel at camp that I got at a mall when I was on the road. They were her addiction. It was a little stale and a little greasy but she loved it.
Since she's going to school downtown in a major city with great ethnic cuisine, I don't think I'll need to send much by way of food (though that won't preclude homebaked goods, the only thing I CAN cook).
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WestrnMom
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
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Posted: Tue May 6th, 2008 09:25 pm |
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I have mailed everything from magazines to tee shirts. Everything I've sent has been appreciated. It's not what you send, it's the attention you are giving them when they are far away and secretly missing you.
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kdmom
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| Joined: | Sun Jun 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | Washington USA |
| Posts: | 126 |
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Posted: Wed May 7th, 2008 04:44 pm |
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Wow, so many thoughtful, loving parents! (Ah, the coffee-can aging process! lol)
For those of you with more than one child, I'm curious which departure was most difficult for you, the first or the last. I felt devastated when S1 left for college (cried for about two weeks.) Somehow, it was much easier for me when S2 left. It's not that I missed him any less, but perhaps I learned after the first one that it's not the end of the world after all. (My nest really is empty now, but like other parents here I've managed to fill up the space with my own life.)
I've talked to people who had the opposite experience, so I wonder if there's any general trend. And how does it feel when the middle child leaves? Maybe jocelynDad will have something to add here 
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jocelynDAD
Member
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Posted: Thu May 8th, 2008 12:37 am |
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Well first boys are different than girls!
Amazing but true.
Sons were easy (to watch walk away)
Daughters are a whole different ballgame!
I sent S1, S2 and S3 away in three consecutive years without any reasoned worry.
Ditto when S4 turn came, but previously when D1 left, I worried, when D2 I was close to crying and now that our youngest D3 is enroute, I probably will be fine, because D3 is very practical and protective of her MOm and Sisters, while D1 and D2 are both very trusting (and therefore vulnerable) and as their Dad, I worry and as a lawyer I consider the worst case scenerio and the combination is scary in the extreme  .
Now all five have graduated nicely and four have advanced degrees(anyone need a CPA/Tax Lawyer  ) and D2 is on her way to being a Junior.
I really do think it depends on the personality of the parent, some let go as if there never was a tie, others have been practicing exotic knots daring their child to find a way (like Alexander's sword) to untie the connection. 
My lovely W is a send a box parent, I do not even consider such an action. Why, because I try to anticipate the needs before hand and assure myself that our child have the means to obtain what is necessary for them.
HOwsoever - one word of advice, establish a pharmacy connection nearby the college, give the health plan data so that if a need develops for getting a Rx filled, the record is on file and it is just a matter of D or S paying the small (hopefully) fee associated with the plan.
Like Yogi Berra is said to have said:
"It's what you need to have, when you have the need"
BTW to any newies out there, Sons puts clothes, etc in a suitcase, finish packing their essentials, and look around for items to fill up the empty space.. Daughters worry if the mini-van has enough room (with the back seats removed) for the items that are essential for their first semester (buy extra hangers - they will be needed).
Last edited on Thu May 8th, 2008 12:40 am by jocelynDAD
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HijinksAndSue
Member
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Posted: Thu May 8th, 2008 04:34 pm |
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HOwsoever - one word of advice, establish a pharmacy connection nearby the college, give the health plan data so that if a need develops for getting a Rx filled, the record is on file and it is just a matter of D or S paying the small (hopefully) fee associated with the plan
GREAT advice! And as luck would have it, I'll be there on the road, staying walking distance from her dorm, two weeks before we bring her up and move her in. Was thinking it would be a good time to suss out the neighborhood for what crucial places are in the closest walking distance (pharmacy, etc.).
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Fri Jun 6th, 2008 08:27 pm |
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With the high school graduation parade in full swing, I thought I'd revive this thread.
My son graduated a week ago, and we've seen very little of him since then. With my daughter busy with her summer internship, the house seems awfully quiet. It will definitely be strange when they are both gone in the fall!
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WestrnMom
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| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
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Posted: Sun Jun 8th, 2008 03:03 am |
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You will get used to it! When I started this thread I was nervous about evenings and weekends, but Westrndad and I have been so busy, we barely had time to miss them. Then school is over for the year and they come back home again. Full nests are challenging too.
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Lynda
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Posted: Sun Jun 8th, 2008 05:06 pm |
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Son came home last Friday night with stuff. We went out for dinner. Next morning we all went back to Redlands (in 2 cars). Son moved out of fraternity house into shared dorm room for summer. We brought back more stuff. I turned to husband and said "we're normal again". Back to normal but I still miss him.
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