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kdmom
Member
| Joined: | Sun Jun 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | Washington USA |
| Posts: | 126 |
| Mana: |    |
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Posted: Sat Jul 12th, 2008 05:49 pm |
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My experience was similar to Canadian's. Although in my day there were lots of girls engaging in what one might call "casual sex", my impression was that they were secretly (or openly) hoping their one-nighters would magically turn into loving, lasting relationships.
Personally, I think that's just how the female brain is wired -- the behavior may look casual, but the emotions hope for more. Women may go along with the trends in media and popular culture, but I'd be very surprised if they've suddenly changed their feelings after all these millennia. My guess is that the women cited as adopting more male-like language and attitudes are really hurting somewhere deep down.
I haven't asked my college-age sons about this explicitly, but I'll bet there's at least as much hooking up nowadays as there was when I was in college. One of my sons does have a steady girlfriend. As a mother, I feel more comfortable knowing he's in a real relationship. Now if I could just find a girlfriend for the other one 
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leftcoast
Member
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Posted: Sun Jul 13th, 2008 02:22 am |
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Canadian, my daughter is in a long term relationship - same guy since high school, now in their 4th year together. My d. introduced a good male friend to her college roommate during orientation week, the two hit it off, and were inseparable for the rest of the year; the roommie moved off campus to live with the guy the following year. When I was visiting my d. at her college during her first year, a high school friend who attended college in another state came to visit... boyfriend in tow. So I see relationships, or the hope of one. Obviously they do not all work out, and as the parent of a daughter I heard the angst back in high school when that happened.
The one thing that I think is different -- I hope -- is that women are more aware and confident of career opportunities and fewer are in college looking for their "Mrs." degree. Since they haven't enrolled in college on a husband-hunting mission, it may appear to an outsider that they aren't interested in relationships; and they certainly may be trying to avoid commitments that will take them off track in terms of education and career plans.
I think its pretty easy for a person writing an article or a book to choose a thesis and then make sure to talk to only people who support that thesis. I mean, the women attending the frat parties are for the most part different than the ones who socialize via religious group gatherings-- and so you can find what you are looking for to support any claim. So I would take both the book and the Crimson survey with a grain of salt.
Last edited on Wed Jul 16th, 2008 02:51 am by leftcoast
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Canadian
Member
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Posted: Sun Jul 13th, 2008 03:59 am |
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| Interesting article, Leftcoast. I knew a bunch of Orthodox girls at my university, too. There was quite the cultural divide.
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expatdxb
Member
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Posted: Sun Jul 13th, 2008 04:36 am |
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IMO one of the the main differences between "our day" and now is the health risks involved in casual sex. I know from a number of young people, some who are a few years post college, as well as from my s who is entering, that the possibility of serious illness associated and increased with multiple partners is a factor. A well-meaning relative suggested to my s, who has a steady gf, that he would be better off playing the field then getting serious at this time, prompted my s to ask me if this person had any idea how risky, health wise, that could be.
I tend to agree with leftcoast that the amount of hook-ups/casual sex probably hasn't changed that much. I do feel it is imperative that all these kids have the kowledge of how this could affect them health-wise and how to protect themselves, when making these choices. It is so difficult for the adolescent brain to get past the "it won't happen to me".
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Canadian
Member
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Posted: Sun Jul 13th, 2008 05:10 am |
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| Mature son. You're lucky.
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Kareni
Member
| Joined: | Wed May 16th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 72 |
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Posted: Sat Jul 19th, 2008 05:38 pm |
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Canadian, leftcoast, kdmom, and expatdxb,
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. They were much appreciated.
I'm glad that I read the book, and I will ask my daughter to read it too. I'd like for her to be informed as to what she may encounter when she goes to college. I believe this a situation where ignorance might not equal bliss.
Regards,
Kareni
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outwest
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 4th, 2007 |
| Location: | CA |
| Posts: | 644 |
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Posted: Fri Aug 8th, 2008 04:27 am |
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Some girls and guys are doing this because I know my girls have made mention of such on and off. I don't know if it has long term implications for life, though, but is more of a phase. I think it turns some girls off and those girls can become worried or timid about relationships because of it, which is sad, too. Either way, it doesn't help any of them grow up.
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WestrnMom
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | West Coast, USA |
| Posts: | 1265 |
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Posted: Sat Aug 9th, 2008 09:32 pm |
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I don't think it's a lot different from what went on when we were in college but there is less stigma associated with casual sex now, so people talk about it with that attitude using a new term. It is what it is.
Last edited on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 09:34 pm by WestrnMom
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