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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Mon Apr 14th, 2008 01:38 am |
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Many here will remember AlanArch from last year, who just posted an update about his son's freshman year experience at Bates. That got me to thinking that it might be a nice idea for parents (and students!) who are winding down their freshman and sophomore years to do a little update on how they have fared at their colleges.
- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Mon Apr 14th, 2008 02:10 am |
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I'll start. My daughter, as most folks know, is finishing up her second year at Beloit College in Wisconsin.
- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
My daughter liked Beloit right from the start last year, but the second semester was hard for her as she realized that her intended major (psychology) was not a good match for her. There was a lot of angst for her last summer as she re-evaluated herself and tried to make sense of what she wanted/needed to do.
This year, however, she's truly starting to come into her own, academically and socially. She's branched out in both areas in sometimes unexpected and unforeseen ways. She's now a happy studio art major and has discovered that she loves sculpture and 3-D design, and that people will pay her for her graphic design talents. She's minoring in anthropology, and hoping to also complete the museum studies minor at Beloit before she graduates. She's had some wonderful encouragement and support from her teachers at Beloit, and we can see that she is becomming less and less dependent on mom and dad's opinions, and more confident in her own decisions about where her life is heading.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
Beloit makes a big deal about how many students study abroad, so we weren't prepared for just how difficult it would be to get Beloit's permission to study abroad. It was a frustrating process for my daughter, but, after being denied permission for one program, she now has permission for a program that actually suits her interests better, so it did work out. But, I think I would recommend, if your child is interested in studying abroad, that they ask a lot of questions before assuming that doing so will be easy.
Otherwise, Beloit has lived up to its billing, and my daughter's expectations pretty well.
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
The distance! There are times when it would be nice to be able to hop in the car and see her in an hour or two! But, that's really a minor thing because Beloit has been very good for her in so many ways.
One other surprise, however: my daughter has acquired a bit of a midwestern twang! We didn't expect that (and I'm not going to start a flame war by saying whether its something we like or dislike)! 
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
Getting to graduation (both high school AND college) isn't going to be a straight line for most kids. There are lots of twists and turns, and unexpected plot changes along the way. But, once you get used to the pit of fear constantly churning in your stomach, it's a thrill to see your baby taking charge of her own life.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Honestly, not much. My daughter made a great choice for herself when she picked Beloit. I think the only thing I wish I had done differently myself is trust her ability to make her own choices more, and kept the duct tape more firmly in place at times. If I'd done that, Home Depot stock probably would be soaring just on duct tape sales alone.
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mominva
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Posted: Mon Apr 14th, 2008 03:39 am |
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- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
My DD and USD seem to have hit it off. As we expected, there were zero bouts of homesickness. She made some fast friends and even got to go home to with one when the school closed for wildfires. Her classes seem challenging, and interesting. She likes her advisor. She had a great intersession study abroad experience in India in January.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
There was NO housing survey.
They charge for staying in your room over breaks, or arriving early from intersession study abroad. 
One must mail or hand deliver requests for enrollment verifications for insurance companies. (My older childrens' schools and 95% of undergraduate institutions subscribe to the National Clearinghouse).
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
I hate the distance but I love the climate. I really dislike that the school seems like a little island without an immediate surrounding neighborhood.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
To only let her apply to schools that accept payment by VISA, so we can earn the frequent flyer miles we need to get her home 
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
I'm not sure.
Last edited on Mon Apr 14th, 2008 01:26 pm by mominva
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limner
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Posted: Mon Apr 14th, 2008 02:40 pm |
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Great idea, Carolyn! HTH some others on the admissions road.
- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
He really loves Carleton and is taking advantage of what it has to offer--a variety of classes, interaction with faculty, applying for study abroad, etc. He has made several very close friends, which pleases him no end. Leaving his HS group was something that saddened and concerned him.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
We definitely fell into that trap of forgetting how much "start-up" and other costs there are the first year (and, in some cases, succeeding years). Furnishing the dorm and travel costs should definitely be considered. Also, there were those little things that you want to send (and do!) just because they're far away and you hate to think of them doing without anything. I sent S an electric kettle when he mentioned he'd gotten a gift of green tea and it was a pain to heat water in a pan, etc. Of course, this may go under the heading of "Self-Restraint" as opposed to "Budget Issues."
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
I think my H would list under "Dislikes" the fact that they send S the bills, but that's minor, since is pretty responsible about forwarding them. On the whole, we've been really impressed with the school, how thoughtful and caring the faculty and staff are.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
My S had a couple of things on his criteria list for colleges that he feels now just didn't matter. One was for an urban setting. He was glad the Twin Cities weren't far, but he's only been into town once this year. And he doesn't even go into Northfield very often, which is right next to the school.
My S also wanted a mid-size school, but he's found Carleton's almost-2000 size to be plenty. I supposed that may change by his senior year, but right now, he's satisfied.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
I would try to worry less, but I'm not sure that's humanly possible.
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WestrnMom
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Posted: Mon Apr 14th, 2008 07:35 pm |
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- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
Very well. His school was the right decision for him. He settled in quickly, found all the resources he needed the first week and got excellent advice on which classes to take.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
Not about the school but about freshmen in general. I'd forgotten just how young 17-18 yr olds are, so I didn't do enough to warn him in advance that the students in his grade might not be as mature as the friends he had back at home. But it's worked out just fine overall.
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
I like what I know about the courses, the classroom set up, how the classes are taught, the very warm connection between students, faculty and staff. The faculty are there for their students, lots of office hours, great student-prof interaction. His school also makes an effort to include parents in their alumnae activities, so you are always informed about what is going on, when and are invited to attend a variety of functions.
Dislike isn't the right word, but I am confused about their housing policy. I heard that some of the returning sophomores still don't have housing assignments for next fall because a lot of housing went to seniors? Since they have 4 years guaranteed housing, that is confusing. However, I'm not certain of the details nor am I going to call the school and become a helicopter parent, so I'll wait to find out the results, which I'm sure will be addressed eventually.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
Nothing. He made the right choice. We kept out of it.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
I would help him prepare better for leaving friends behind and starting out without knowing anyone well. The first few weeks were challenging for all of them. I didn't realize just how important the old friends were because my first child went off to college and never looked back, although she went to a huge school with quite a few other students from her high school. When I realized that was a minor issue, I talked to him about taking the time to meet and make good friends. It happened fairly quickly, looking back but at the time I felt a little helpless since there wasn't much I could do.
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Thumper
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Posted: Tue Apr 15th, 2008 12:51 am |
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- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
Well...it's the second year for our daughter. She loves Santa Clara University. She is finding college studies are not easy at all. Her GPA hovers around 3.0, and that is frustrating for her. This year, she has gotten involved in more campus activities...as the statistician for the hockey and lacrosse teams. She is having a lot of fun. She continues to enjoy her job as a student ambassador, and her work in the admissions office.
She declared her major as general engineering with a concentration in bioengineering. She loves the courses, but they are tough.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
Hmm...no real surprises.
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
I like the core course requirement...and the access to the professors. The school also has a great study skills center with tutors that DD has used. The facilities are absolutely terrific. The new library just opened and is state of the art. I like the fact that they do such terrific maintenance on their facilities.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
I guess I didn't realize the %age of students who live off campus as juniors and seniors AND the high cost of housing in the area.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Not a thing. This has been a terrific choice for our daughter.
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hayden
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Posted: Tue Apr 15th, 2008 02:23 am |
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How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
Our D crossed to the other side of the continent, and just loves it. She's a sophomore. The first 6 weeks of freshman year were pretty rough - new part of the country, new culture, no friends when so many of the others knew other people already. But after the initial homesickness and plain old fear wore off, she settled in and loved/loves it. Thank goodness for the IM !
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
The intertwining of her college and Hollywood was a lot stronger than we expected - such as our daughter walking across campus and running into the starts of the Gilmore Girls, or past a filming of a segment from CSI NY, Monk, etc. I knew her college appeared in a bunch of films and shows, but there was a lot more filming than she expected. They mentioned this at admitted students' days, but we took that with a grain of salt. In retrospect, it was not an exaggeration. I guess the indirect lesson for all of us is, we should listen to both the good and the bad from the info sessions, and imagine that they might be telling the truth!
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
Mominva said "I hate the distance but I love the climate". That's it in a nutshell for me. I also dislike the fact that we have to make flight arrangements before she really knows the schedule for her final exams. That's both difficult and expensive. The thing both our D and we like is the broad range of backgrounds our D is running into and becoming friends with, both economic backgrounds and nationalities.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
This is our second child so there were fewer surprises.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
I would be more encouraging about our kids applying to any school they chose, so long as they had the appropriate range of safety/match/reach. I was very nervous of our kids applying to stretch schools, both for my anxiety regarding how they would react to being rejected, and for my anxiety if they got in, in terms of how hard they might have to work to do okay with kids for whom the schools was a match/safety school. After the fact, I see that the schools are a better judge of this than I am (okay, I admit it.)
My biggest lesson is not to be afraid of reach schools. This one admitted my daughter, and so far, she's doing just fine.
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kdmom
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Posted: Tue Apr 15th, 2008 07:00 pm |
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- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
S2's first year at Cornell has been great. He's been working really hard at his classes, and has managed to get a good GPA. I think his high school did a good job preparing him for college-level work. He has also made friends with a wide variety of people in his dorm, and even found a very nice girlfriend.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
I was a little disturbed by the influence of the Greek scene. I never thought of S2 as the type of person who would enjoy fraternity life (he's not a conformist in any sense of the word), and yet he participated in rush week, received a few bids, and pledged a fraternity. He complained about the very aspects of the process that I assumed he wouldn't like (elitism, conformity, restrictions on his free time), but kept on with it anyway (for the social benefits, he says). Although there was a large Greek presence on campus when I was a student, it wasn't for me and I never gave it a second thought -- I'm surprised that S2 didn't do the same. (Happily, he did elect to live in an off-campus house with a group of friends next year instead of getting a room in the fraternity house.)
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
I love that the students he's meeting come from so many different backgrounds and are studying such different subjects! He knows people from the inner city on full scholarship, people from farms, people from the suburbs, fantastically wealthy people from zip codes I can only dream about, people from other countries, and on and on. They are engineers and architects and artists and writers and scientists and philosophers and historians and environmentalists and hoteliers, etc. It's a fantastic (and educational) mix!
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
S2 applied ED and suffered some buyer's remorse after the acceptance. I wish I had known that it would go away as soon as his friends started making their final decisions. I worried a lot, but now I think the remorse was about watching his friends make choices when his was already made, not about regretting his choice. (But actually, someone did tell me this was probably what was going on -- right here on this board! )
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Nothing. I was glad that I could come here for sympathy and advice! It all worked out in the end.
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Chedva
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Posted: Tue Apr 15th, 2008 09:17 pm |
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- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
My d is really enjoying her freshman year. She lucked out with her roommate; they get along famously. Her high school prepared her well for college and first semester was terrific for her. Second semester was harder. She had such a good experience first semester that she overloaded a bit second - became a research assistant, pledged a sorority. Weather didn't help either. But she's doing much better now, has great friends and overall is very happy.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
How many TA's there really are.
How big Greek life is, even though it's really only about 20% of the student population that belong to the fraternities/sororities.
How much work 4 classes that only meet a few hours a week really are! D had been a dancer, dancing about 14 hours/week, plus had a 40 minute commute to dance each way about 4 times a week. She thought it would be a piece of cake to join several dance clubs and dance at least as much when she only had 4 classes and didn't have to travel. Wrong!
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
The weather. The food plans - too expensive, too confusing and too much food.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
People told me, but I wish I believed them that my d knew what she was doing! There was little on paper that she said she was looking for, but there was something about the school that she loved. And she is very happy.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Now knowing that the things she said were immutable really weren't (like a dance program), I would have broadened the search. While I am happy with where she is, there were a lot of schools I wrote off because they didn't seem to meet her criteria. And many of those schools I wrote off may have given her additional merit money!
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safisher
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Posted: Tue Apr 15th, 2008 11:28 pm |
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How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
D soph at Lafayette. She works hard and her academics are fine. After period of adjustment being away from home, across the country, she has a strong group of friends. Pledged to a sorority. Endless volume of extracurricular activities from orchestra to campaign volunteering, community service, to belaying on a climbing wall.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
Emphasis on internships. Exhausting and competitive process, somewhat similar to applying to college. Internship "arms race" not confined to Lafayette, but does it ever end?
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
Like: Registrar emailing D at 6:00 in the morning with a new PIN# when hers did not work, she got all her classes.
Dislike: Distance. PA and CA are a long way from each other.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
D went ED which more or less ended any potential for merit $. May have rethought that.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Its been good so far. She's staying on the East Coast (DC) for an internship this summer. Would have been different if she attended a CA school. Breaking free is tough.
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Thu Apr 17th, 2008 01:23 pm |
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Safisher,
I am glad you brought up the internship issue. This is one thing that my daughter has grumbled about with her college. They offer lots of summer internship connections, but most of them are in the Chicago area, and almost none in San Diego, where we live. It's worked out OK as it's pushed my daughter to be pro-active about hunting down internships on her own, but it is something that we didn't consider when she went far from home that I wish we had. I am sure the same will be true when it comes time to look for a "real" job, but she's already talking about other parts of the country anyhow, so it may not be a huge issue.
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Wstrdg
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Posted: Thu Apr 17th, 2008 03:40 pm |
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- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
Very well. The personalities and environment have been a good fit.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
He has far less free time than either of us imagined. Especially this semester, "what to do in your spare time" just hasn't been an issue.
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
I echo the "too far away" laments! And that's even though he's in-state. Flying is just such a hassle, with security constraints, flight delays, and shuttles! Sometimes I do wish that he had attended a local campus, but that's just selfish of me!
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
How fast time really does go on the quarter system! It's alot of pressure for the students, and maybe something to consider.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Stress less! Hug more!
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hayden
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 02:22 am |
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| Do you all realize how totally embarrassing it is to see that I'm the only person on this entire forum who can't figure out how to add bold?
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mominva
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 02:32 am |
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Hayden,
Use my secret. Copy and paste!
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leftcoast
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 08:43 am |
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Just a note on internships: -- my daughter has had great internships -- last summer she got a pretty good internship with a nonprofit agency close to home, then applied for (and got) grants from her college to fund the internship; this summer she has lined up an internship with a UN agency and will spend time in Europe & Asia.
But she did not get these internships via her college -- she figured out what she wanted to do and sought these out on her own, relying more on Google last year than her college career center -- and for this summer's internship she started out with a connection via a high school friend.
I think her key to success was that she was proactive, early, persistent, and did not rely on her college, even though she has made use of the college career center and probably is very familiar with their offerings.
So if your kids really want those internships -- they need to broaden their search. Don't expect the college to make it happen -- the problem with on-campus interviews is that there is too much competition from students from the same college.
I think that college career centers should be used primarily for students to get a sense of what type of internships and company or agency they are looking for; and on-campus interviews are great practice. But with the internet it is pretty easy to seek out a much wider array of opportunities -- and email makes it very easy to send out inquiries as well as a resume. The agency my d. is working for this summer has a web site that says that their internships are only for graduate level students, and when my d. first wrote to inquire.... that is exactly what she was told. But she kept at it.... and with a few more emails she had a commitment. She's a sophomore, and she actually has another soph friend who has also lined up an internship with the same agency. (I have to admit that I told my d. that there was "no chance" of her getting the internship based on what I found on the web site, and when she got the first discouraging email back, I said "I told you so"..... but my d. has now taught me a thing or three. Persistence can and does pay off.)
Last edited on Mon Apr 21st, 2008 08:43 am by leftcoast
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 08:27 pm |
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| Leftcoast, your daughter is always amazing.
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leftcoast
Member
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Posted: Tue Apr 22nd, 2008 04:14 am |
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No.... Google is amazing. My daughter is just stubborn.
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orangesulfur
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Posted: Thu Apr 24th, 2008 01:07 pm |
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- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child?
Second year for my son at Swarthmore. The school has been a wonderful experience so far. A perfect fit for him.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
Really none, except that he doesn't go into Philly as much as I thought he would.
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
I like the overall atmosphere and that music opportunities abound. And, close friends.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
In his case, nothing.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Show my anxiety less. I think I was right to be anxious because the outcomes are unpredictable; however, I could have been more graceful (less honest) about it.
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Lderochi
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Posted: Thu Apr 24th, 2008 02:21 pm |
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Jumping in. My son is a Freshman at Elon University in North Carolina
- How has the first year turned out for you or your child?
My son was actually very surprised about how much he missed being away from his friends and activities here. He is the very last person that you would ever suspect of homesickness, and it hit him hard. So much so that he's planning on transferring, despite the fact that he has mostly enjoyed his year and has made some good friends and has had some good times. His classes have gone well. Like most new college students, it was an initial challenge to learn how to manage his time correctly. He has always been a procrastinator and able to get away with it, but first semester caught up with him around exam time. It was a good lesson, I think. And disaster was averted, he just ended up with one grade that was disappointing to him.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attend?
Good surprises: the level of involvement for students has lived up to its billing. Elon really, really wants its students to become engagend and engrossed in SOMETHING -- doesn't matter what, really, but they really do stress (and provide plenty of opportunities) for extra-curriculars. Volunteer work is larger than expected. Leadership opportunities abound. Student organizations flourish. These kids are amazing, and Elon really turns them loose. My son the freshman and another freshman were allowed to organize and lead a spring break service trip to the Gulf to help in the continuing Katrina cleanup.
Bad surprises: The level of partying/hard drinking was even higher than expected. Elon has a reputation for this already, and my son felt he was ready for it. I'm not going to delude myself that he's never had a drink, but he's probably an occasional beer guy at worst. And since he hangs around with an older crowd back home that does imbibe freely he didn't think it would be an issue. But he was still surprised at just how ingrained the "drink to get drunk" culture is here. To its credit, Elon's administration is very aware of the problem, and seem to be be sincere in their efforts to deal with it.
Also (no surprise to me, but it was to him) no matter how good the university is overall, there are always going to be dogs as teachers. Or maybe just teachers that rub you the wrong way. Or maybe something else. But you're gonna hate some of them. Unfortunately for my son, he ended up loathing his econ teacher -- and he's majoring in econ, so it was kind of a problem!
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends?
Other than the drinking mentioned above, nothing particularly to dislike. And I do very much like the student engagment and the supportive administration.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now?
Well, since my son applied ED I would push back the question. If you're going to apply ED you really have to think hard before making that decision. My son really did, and I pushed him pretty hard to make sure he was 100% positive that ED was the way to go. And looking back I still think it was the right decision.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently?
Not a lot. Even though his initial decision did not turn out to be where he wanted to spend 4 years, it was still the right decision because finding that out is a positive outcome in itself. It's easy for us parents who are now past the application frenzy to say it, but I wish I could have relaxed more. We didn't need as much stress and snippy arguments and downright arguments as we had. For 99% of the people it WILL work out just fine, even if it works out differently than expected or initially hoped for. For parents of Seniors and Juniors -- I know you don't believe me right now, but by the end of Freshman year in college you will look back at this time and you will be amazed at how over-stressed you let yourself become. I sure have been.
Best of luck to everybody!
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 01:58 am |
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Lderochi,
I think you bring up such an important point. There is absolutely NO shame in transferring if you're not completely happy with where you land. I think too many kids try to muddle through or, worse, drop out completely, instead of transferring. College (and life) is too short to spend at the wrong place. Thank you for sharing!
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