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Thumper
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 07:37 pm |
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| Lderochi...It sounds like Elon was a good experience. Good that there were positives, and I hope he can find those at his new school. I agree with Carolyn...going to college is a learning experience, and that includes the school itself. Are you telling where he might be heading next year??
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defyingravity1
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 08:15 pm |
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| Thumper- I think she said in her post that her S. would be heading home to U Delaware if he got in,
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Lderochi
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Posted: Sun Apr 27th, 2008 12:39 pm |
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That's right. If he DOESN'T get in to UDel I'm not sure what's going to happen! He's pre-registered at Elon and has housing so he can always return. Just waiting, transfer decisions don't start coming in until sometime in May
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CalifCarolyn
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Posted: Mon May 26th, 2008 06:48 am |
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I was a regular poster during the college search for D2 and now that she has finished her freshman year, at Valparaiso, it is time for reflection, and this is a great place to reflect. I will also update for D1 who is about to begin her Junior Year at Northeastern later.
- How has the first (or second) year turned out for you or your child? This was a year of ups and downs. She has grown and become an independent young woman while being incredibly homesick. She had solid grades, As and Bs. {overall 3.50} Enjoyed her classes, was elected dorm President, joined a sorority, became a sports fan. She developed very strong study habits that she says even surprised her. Due to a poor roommate match she spent most of her time out of her room the first semester and once her roommate moved out in January she was already in the habit of studying in the Library.
We were all surprised with how homesick she became, this is a kid who has traveled without us since she was 15 participating in summer programs overseas. We all agree that the very cold winter, the tornados and lack of sunshine in Indiana was the tipping point. It actually snowed on her birthday, April 30th. Although she does not want to “stick it out” for 3 more years she feels that the experience did teach her a great deal about herself.
- What surprises, if any, have there been about the college you or your child attends?
Bad surprise: The level of partying/hard drinking was unexpected. She had major issues with her roommate over drinking in their room. She said her floor (a co-ed Freshman dorm) was a party floor. There were always drunk girls in the bathroom throwing up on the weekends. The campus is dry and the campus police will stop kids walking from the frat houses to check to see if they have been drinking so it was surprising to hear of the open drinking in the dorms. If someone complains the police do come but mostly it was ignored. My daughter was more annoyed then anything.
Also we were surprised at how rural the town really is despite the population. She did have the opportunity to go to Chicago several times, but to her friends that was considered a major trip. For a Southern California girl an hour drive is nothing, to her friends that required major planning.
Good surprise: the support from the parent groups to help the out of state kids the first few weeks feel at home
- Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the college you or your child attends? We liked the CORE class that she had to take as a freshman was great and an opportunity to really connect with a professor outside of their major. Her advisor was very accessible which was helpful in helping her to plan her course work. Her average class size was only 15-18 students.
- What do you wish someone had told you when you were making that final decision that you know now? She feels that during her overnight weekend she wishes she would have spent more time talking to other Political Science Majors to really get a better perspective of the focus of the program. It looked different in course descriptions then what she saw as a student.
- If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently? For this girl I don’t think we would have done much differently. She made the decision which she felt was best for her given her choices, and she had great ones. The young woman she was at 18 is different from the young woman she is now. She learned a great deal about herself, she drove across the county with a friend, learned about values of others and experienced feeling like a minority. Although she will not graduate from Valpo she will always consider herself a Valpo Student.
On the upside….she applied to Chapman University would have been out of her reach as an incoming Freshman {her GPA was 3.2 and the average GPA of admitted students was 3.75} and on Friday 5/23 was notified that she was admitted as a Peace Studies Major. So Valpo got her into this great program! Now we need to look at the money end…again…
Last edited on Mon May 26th, 2008 04:05 pm by CalifCarolyn
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Chedva
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Posted: Mon May 26th, 2008 02:08 pm |
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CalifCarolyn, congrats to your d! She must be thrilled!
And still waiting with baited breath to hear the results for Lderochi's son!
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CalifCarolyn
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Posted: Mon May 26th, 2008 04:13 pm |
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When I read the post about Lderochi's son I could really empathize with her and her family. I really hope he gets good news soon. We were not anticipating an acceptance so soon. We paid a housing deposit for Valpo for the fall and she registered for classes. Keeping the bases covered.
Now hoping for a fat envelope for Lderochi's son!
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Lynda
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Posted: Mon May 26th, 2008 04:28 pm |
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CalifCarolyn,
Congratulations to your daughter.
Lderochi, hope there is good news soon.
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defyingravity1
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Posted: Mon May 26th, 2008 08:13 pm |
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CalifCarolyn- I empathize with you. This is the exact situation I went through, right down to the drinking, partying and roomie issues, though I did not have the kind your D. had. Congrats to your D. on Chapman. I hope she loves it and she will be closer to home. Also McDaniel enabled me to get into Earlham, a school I surley would have not gotten into out of high school.
I also did the whole register for classes at Mcdaniel thing even though I will not be going back.
Ldeorchi son, I hope your son got into UDel. :0)
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Lderochi
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Posted: Tue May 27th, 2008 03:00 am |
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Just an update to report no news. Rumor is that UDel will notify transfers in June. Son is not amused  . But I definitely sensed a lot of ambivalence about leaving Elon when I went down to help pack him up. Many of his friends, and one in particular, took the time to lobby me to make sure he returns next August. Like I have ANY say in this matter!
But now that he's home he's reminded of why he wants to return. Three fire/rescue calls in two days (unfortunately involving two fatalities), plus a 12 hour EMT shift. This is just the stuff he loves to do and has not been able to do at Elon.
Poor guy. What he wants is for Elon to be in Delaware, really. But it's not.
We've had some good talks so far. He's decided to look into Emergency/Disaster Management as a career (Finally! Everybody who knows him has suggested this to him for the past three years!).
He (and I) knows that he's fortunate to have two very good options in front of him. If he gets accepted to UDel he will *probably* go there (though I know a few of his Elon friends are still intensely lobbying him via Facebook and text message ), where they have a concentation in Emergency Management and also the Disaster Research Center http://www.udel.edu/DRC/index.html , which interests him.
And if he doesn't get in? He gets to return to a really good school where he has made some good friends and has become very involved in a number of activities, including (you guessed it) trying to start a student-run safety and rescue corps.
But the wait is still driving him crazy.
PS -- I didn't mean to sound so self-centered in this post. I am very excited to hear of CalifCarolyn's D! This also sounded to me like a very similar situation, and I'm happy to hear that she has a new, exciting experience in front of her at Chapman.
Last edited on Tue May 27th, 2008 03:03 am by Lderochi
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CalifCarolyn
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Posted: Tue May 27th, 2008 03:37 am |
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Lderochi-I am sure the wait is terrible. Julia's Valpo friends are also on an active campaign to convince her to return too. Her Tri Delt sisters actually sent her shirts to give to new pledges next fall and we will have several of her Valpo friends here off and on all summer. It is a nice to see that. I think if Valpo was closer she would return.....but then she has friends who are so excited that she will be with them at Chapman....
Good Luck in the next few weeks as your son begins to sort things out. Who knows as he begins to look into a new major that excitment may give a new perspective to his decisions. The narrowing down of what she really wants as a major I think made a big difference to my D. We went to Switzerland and France over Thanksgiving (to visit our older daughter who was studying in Lyon) and spending time at the UN and at the Red Cross Museum made her realize that Peace Studies and not Political Science is what she really wants.
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outwest
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Posted: Tue May 27th, 2008 04:34 am |
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I never noticed this thread before (don't know why). It was/is interesting!
Carolyn said,
"One other surprise, however: my daughter has acquired a bit of a midwestern twang! We didn't expect that (and I'm not going to start a flame war by saying whether its something we like or dislike)!  "
Oh, no! Will my D start saying 'woada" instead of 'water'? AAAH! Well, maybe she will stop saying, "Like this and like that and like, you know, like, like." 
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scoop
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Posted: Tue May 27th, 2008 10:49 am |
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| The "like" virus is alive and well on the east coast too! CCarolyn, I admire your daughter. It sounds like she learned a lot and has a plan that works for her. Lederochi, good luck to you son.
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WestrnMom
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Posted: Tue May 27th, 2008 07:19 pm |
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CalifCarolyn, thank you for sharing that news. A friend's D is trying to decide whether to go to Chapman or not. I'm glad to hear it's working out for her. The cost is definitely an issue, although if they can live at home it's cheaper. Will she be able to maintain her sorority affiliation when she transfers?
I haven't had to deal with a transfer situation. I can see there are pros and cons to both. Without exception, every single person we know who transferred or is talking about it, has gone too far from home. The homesickness got to all of them. I'm suprised at how many students we know came back to California after one year, from such diverse places as Texas, Boston, Chicago, and NYC. It wasn't just the weather, but the culture shock as well that got to them. We know just as many students who went out of state who love it. Looking at why they made the decisions they did, those who knew what they were getting into and were prepared for the culture of the campus, the weather and the location (rural, city) are much more willing to make it work than those who didn't understand what they were getting into. From my experience talking to my children's friends and families, preparation is so important, along with knowing exactly what they want before they leave home. But how many 18 year olds know exactly what they want in advance?
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Wed May 28th, 2008 10:25 pm |
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I'm very grateful to Iderochi and CalifCarolyn for sharing their kids' stories here. As I have said in the past, there is absolutely nothing wrong with transferring!
I say this as someone who transferred myself, back in the dark ages. When I look back on that choice, I see it as the first adult decision of my life. The college I transferred too hadn't been on my radar in high school, and even if it had, I don't think I would have been ready for it. But, I'd matured and grown at my first college, and I was ready for the next step. It was a decision that literally changed my life in many ways.
Regarding the homesickness issue: this is something that every student faces, I think, regardless of how far away from home you are. Living in a dorm with a bunch of strangers is an adjustment for almost everyone. The difference, of course, is that if you are only an hour away from home you can escape "back home" easier. But, I think it is a good idea for parents to let their kids know that homesickness is going to happen, and to discuss how the student will deal with it when it does happen, regardless of how far from home the student will be.
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Lderochi
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Posted: Thu May 29th, 2008 02:17 am |
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Good points Carolyn, as always. Someone on the other board made a point that I had never thought of, but it made sense. In this era of text messaging, IM, etc. homesickness may actually be worst. That sounds a little counterintuitive because staying more connected with the gang back home should help, not hurt, the homesickness issue. But in reality, the more you are able to stay connected the more you're able to see what you're missing with the crowd back home. This is probably a bigger issue for kids who go far away from home while most of their old crowd stay local.
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Thu May 29th, 2008 03:26 am |
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I think that is true. When I was in college, I talked to my parents once a week, on Sunday afternoon. I never spoke to my friends on the phone -- long distance was too expensive back then. It was letters all the way, and they took a while to get there back then because mail went by pony express. 
I know that my daughter is hooked into the Myspace, Facebook, IM, and cell phones of her friends on a constant basis. She sometimes will call home and tell me what her friends locally are doing for the weekend. My son, meanwhile, is thrilled because he and his girlfriend just both got Macintosh laptops with built in video cameras. It took them about 5 seconds to sign on to IM and start talking to each other via video. I am not sure if that will lessen the pain of being 900 miles away from each other come fall, or make it worse.
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limner
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Posted: Thu May 29th, 2008 06:15 pm |
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CalifCarolyn, congrats on your D's acceptance to Chapman--I've got appendages crossed on the finaid and for Lderochi's S. Although, Lderochi, it does sound like he will do fine either way, if UDel comes through or if not. I remember my freshman year as a time of learning to cope with problems (roommate), finding out I could solve those problems (I organized a room switch between 10 roommates so I could get a more compatible one--and so did they), etc. Our kids are growing and learning through these experiences.
Regarding preparing your kid for homesickness, it's something I definitely did with my son. He's never been big on change (at age 10, Italy freaked him out because he couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet). So before he left for school last year, I just told him straight out that he would feel homesick--for his room, his friends, his family--everything that was familiar. I also said that he might just feel plain weird sometimes, like he'd been dropped into a parallel universe, because he would be in completely new surroundings. Obviously, this isn't true for all kids, and I'm not sure he ever felt like he was in a parallel universe, but I think it was helpful that he was prepared for those feelings. It's bad enough to feel homesick but even worse to have that homesickness hit you out of left field.
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CalifCarolyn
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Posted: Sun Jun 1st, 2008 10:09 pm |
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The Financial offer came from Chapman and it is a little more than $10,000 MORE than her Valpo package, and all of that extra is in grants and scholarship. Her loan package is less too with an added workstudy. Her total package is almost $30,000.....she is going to Chapman first thing in the morning, deposit check in hand, and then heading over to the bookstore for a Chapman shirt and bumper sticker. She is so excited and her Valpo friends understand the $$ side of the transfer.
Last edited on Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 04:06 am by CalifCarolyn
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Lderochi
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Posted: Sun Jun 1st, 2008 11:25 pm |
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Fantastic news, just fantastic!!
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mominva
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Posted: Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 03:30 am |
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Awesome! Icing on the cake!
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