| Author | Post |
|---|
Lderochi
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 307 |
| Mana: |    |
|
Posted: Mon Nov 12th, 2007 11:11 pm |
|
I agree, but I think there is a greater awareness of campus drinking now. There's more underage drinking as well, obviously, since the drinking age has moved from 18 to 21. And my own opinion is that 18-20 year olds seem to drink harder and heavier as underage drinkers than they did as legal drinkers. All is know is my S has had occasion to hang out regularly with adult, legal, ridiculously "macho" drinkers over the last several years. Often serving as designated driver at their parties. And he was a little disappointed at how much campus drinking there was -- more particularly, the amount of time spent at events where the drinking seems to be an end in itself.
But I don't want to give the impression that it's all-encompassing. He's found plenty of alternatives, and there's a large number of non/moderate imbibers that he's found.
|
jocelynDAD
Member
|
Posted: Tue Nov 13th, 2007 03:19 am |
|
Lderochi, my guess is that your S will come to realize this, as jDAD pointed out, over vacation. (27 years of kids in college--egads, man, how do you do it?) 
Limner: Slowly very slowly. Still have six years of college ahead with D2 and D3.
D3 is talking about Law School as a possibility so may have even more years. 
Last edited on Tue Nov 13th, 2007 02:23 pm by jocelynDAD
|
leftcoast
Member
|
Posted: Tue Nov 13th, 2007 06:03 am |
|
. And, remember, back in those days the LEGAL drinking age in all states was 18. Actually, that's not true -- I know for a fact that it has never been under 21 in California. After Prohibition, nearly all states restricting youth access to alcohol designated 21 as the minimum legal drinking age (MLDA). Between 1970 and 1975, however, 29 states lowered the MLDA to 18, 19, or 20. Source: http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/13246.html
I agree with you that there was just as much drinking going on in those days, however -- I graduated from college in 1974, at age 20 (still definitely too young to be officially served alcohol in California). The reality of course was that I had no problems getting served, especially if I was in a bar or restaurant with an older male, and I am sure it is the same for my now-19 year old daughter (whose boyfriend just turned 21).
|
mackinaw
Member
| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Michigan |
| Posts: | 786 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Nov 13th, 2007 10:25 am |
|
I recall that in the late 1960s in Wisconsin, we could legally purchase 3.2% beer at age 18 but had to be 21 to buy the 5% stuff. I'm pretty sure that was changed in the 1970s -- age 21 for all alcohol purchases. It's my understanding that in many states they still sell three-two beer -- with a legal drinking age of 21.
Last edited on Tue Nov 13th, 2007 10:35 am by mackinaw
|
Chedva
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 575 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Nov 13th, 2007 12:02 pm |
|
When I was in school in Maryland, the drinking age for beer and wine was 18, and for everything else was 21.
I think there may be more drinking now because it's forbidden. When you could just walk into the pub on campus and order a beer without issue, drinking beer became no big deal. There was nothing to prove.
Lderochi, one other thing for you to consider - Carolyn discussed the situation in which even the local kids grew apart from each other. There's the flip side, too, though - your son may find that the local kids haven't grown apart; in fact he may find that they haven't grown at all, while he has. That was the experience for my h and some of his friends; although he didn't go far away to school, he did go to a high-powered one and had very different experiences than his local friends. He'd come home every so often, and find that he had simply outgrown these kids who still acted as they had in high school. He had moved on; they hadn't.
Whatever happens, I wish the best for you and your S.
|
Descartes
Super Moderator
|
Posted: Tue Nov 13th, 2007 02:51 pm |
|
mackinaw wrote: I recall that in the late 1960s in Wisconsin, we could legally purchase 3.2% beer at age 18 but had to be 21 to buy the 5% stuff. I'm pretty sure that was changed in the 1970s -- age 21 for all alcohol purchases. It's my understanding that in many states they still sell three-two beer -- with a legal drinking age of 21.
WI drinking age was unrestricted for 18 year olds during the late 1970's and early 1980's (at least 1976 to 1984). You could legally purchase anything you wanted when you went off to college and many establishments in Madison enjoyed a profitable business selling to young drinkers. In fact one of their problems was keeping high schoolers out. They had mixed success (after varying amounts of effort) with that.
I believe the age went to 21 across the nation when federal highway funds were tied to a 21 age limit during the Reagan administration.
Last edited on Tue Nov 13th, 2007 02:52 pm by Descartes
|
mackinaw
Member
| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Michigan |
| Posts: | 786 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Nov 13th, 2007 06:40 pm |
|
Ah, that's right -- the 1984 law changed that nationally.
Then again, Wisconsin must have been the last state to restrict the sale of colored oleomargarine. Trying to keep the dairy industry thriving. People used to bootleg colored oleo into the state when I first arrived there. Here's an old news story (warning: .PDF) about Wisconsin's fight over the demon spread.
http://www.wisconsinhistory.org/wmh/pdf/wmh_autumn01_strey.pdf.
Last edited on Tue Nov 13th, 2007 06:45 pm by mackinaw
|
CalifCarolyn
Member
| Joined: | Tue Apr 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 573 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Nov 13th, 2007 07:04 pm |
|
Reading this thread has been great for me. D1 was dying to transfer to USC before Thanksgiving and had already contacted the admissions office, asking for advice since she had been accepted at USC as an incoming freshman. We asked her to stay her freshman year but apply wherever she wanted. At Christmas she realized that her HS friends at USC had 'changed' and that her closest friends were the ones at NYU, BU and other schools far from So Cal. She returned to Northeastern and never looked back...except to change roommates she had a girl her freshman year from Korea who made no effort to meet people or interact with anyone at school.
D2 has had ups and downs at Valpo, mostly related to being in a small community without a car. Classes are great; her roommate is 'ok' after a rough few weeks, which centered around her roommate and drinking (and parties in the dorm room when my D was at the library…my D did not think it was too cool to come back from the library to find kids in the room tossing beer bottles out the window). They agreed that the girl would party in someone else’s room, which made the roommate mad because she wants to be popular….oh well my girl handled it…. (and this is a dry campus not to mention that they are under age). We still hear the “why didn’t I go to Chapman” mantra but I am guessing that that will change after Christmas. Her 2 closest friends are at Chapman and are roommates so I think right now she is still feeling left out. It is hard to go from being surrounded by a group of close friends to having to strike out on your own and make a new group of friends. D2 is dorm president so she must be making friends….but the closeness isn’t there yet. Fall Break helped her see that but then she went back and missed her car . We will be in France for Thanksgiving visiting D1 in Lyon we can’t wait!!!
|
Lderochi
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 307 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Nov 13th, 2007 08:33 pm |
|
Mackinaw, what a great article. I grew up in an "oleo" household and never thought twice about it. But that all changed when I got married. I'm not sure what appalled my bride to be more -- the fact that I bought margarine or that I still wore bell-bottom jeans. I have changed both things of my own free will with absolutely no undue influence. Ahem.
We're a butter family now, for better or worse -- although in moderation as much as possible.
|
mom61
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jun 23rd, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 247 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Nov 14th, 2007 02:57 am |
|
My son has been extremely happy. He did have one sunday afternoon where he didn't feel well, had a big assignment due the next day and was tired. He called and said I want to come home. He missed his girlfriend, he missed home. The day before he had rated his school 8 out of 10. A week later we talked with him. He was feeling better. Project out of the way and was once again extremely happy.
What we had not estimated was how much he would miss the girlfriend. We had all predicted a break up long before now. I think this is his biggest void. I can say without a doubt he is not missing his family.
Aside from one good friend at Cal Poly almost all his other good friends stayed home. They are at the community college, seniors or a few just working. That made leaving hard but he has made some strong friendships at college.
In my community I do see alot of kids come home after freshman year. They come from all levels of the academic spectrum. I don't know if having a university, community college and a private college in town makes it easier for them to come home.
|
beazer
Member
| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | SF Bay Area |
| Posts: | 15 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Nov 20th, 2007 05:44 pm |
|
Both of my daughters are at small colleges far from home, and both had a rough adjustment during freshman year. It takes so much longer than anyone expects to make good friends and feel connected to the new place. I don't think either girl seriously considered transferring, but first semester was definitely difficult.
Sophomore year has been a completely different thing -- both girls are really happy, each with solid friendships and a greater sense of their academic goals. They've made new, close friends since the year started, showing that even in a small school there are always new people to meet. So while it's hard to watch your kid being miserable, and sometimes coming home or transferring is the right course, there's always the possibility that things will get better. My kids are now having the college experience I was hoping for, and I really had my doubts at times last year.
|
WestrnMom
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | West Coast, USA |
| Posts: | 1213 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Nov 21st, 2007 12:53 am |
|
Beazer, it's good to hear that. I noticed that mine never came out and said they were homesick, but some of my friends said their children complained about it often at first, much less when they got into their second semesters.
I talked to my friend whose child seemed so depressed. Everything is working out much better now, clubs, a new sport, and some roommates to get an apartment with next year. I appreciate the suggestions you gave me to pass along to her.
|
WestrnMom
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | West Coast, USA |
| Posts: | 1213 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Jan 8th, 2008 09:27 pm |
|
For those of you who were worried about my friend's freshman who had the blues last semester after going out of state to a very cold, dreary city. All is well. The parents said they couldn't do much to help that far away, so the options were to either stick it out and enjoy it, or transfer to something closer to home that feels more familiar. The student joined an athletic team, found new friends, figured out how to study for that school and major, decided to make the best of it and is now enjoying college. So there is hope. However, the younger siblings all want to stay in state now for college, after seeing how difficult the adjustment was.
|
mominva
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | DC Suburbs |
| Posts: | 334 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Jan 8th, 2008 09:49 pm |
|
Hoping Lderochi's S has found his niche, as well.
|
defyingravity1
Member
| Joined: | Mon Jan 7th, 2008 |
| Location: | NYC |
| Posts: | 75 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Jan 8th, 2008 10:01 pm |
|
What a great thread with great suggestions!
To the OP, I am glad your friends S. is doing better 
Lderochi- How is your son doing at Elon? I applied and was waitlisted. I have relatives in NC so they wanted me to go there , but oh well. What you said about the hs friends staying home is also true for me. I have a close knit groups of friends here, most who will be going to the borough CUNY. I only have 2 friends go "away" to college, one is going to UVM and the other to Hampshire if she gets in. It is tempting to go to CUNY and live at home, but another part of me says NO lol
|
Lynda
Member
| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 217 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Jan 9th, 2008 02:21 am |
|
Glad to hear Westrnmom's friend's freshman is doing well.
I remember hating the floor I was on first semester at SC. My parents dropped me off after a weekend home and I remember crying and telling them I hated it there. Thank goodness my son never told me that, don't know how I could take it. New roommate and new RA the next semester took care of everything. Became friends w/1st RA-she couldn't take the politial/racial pressure either-she applied for DC semester to get away.
|
Lderochi
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 307 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Jan 9th, 2008 01:38 pm |
|
Thanks for the best wishes! We'll see how all this plays out. It's never dull.
I think the holiday break was a good experience, but the door hasn’t closed one way or the other.
As many of you suspected, he quickly got pretty bored and discovered that the “back home” he remembers is NOT the “back home” that exists in the here and now. He also discovered that his friends who stayed here (whether to work, attend the local university/community college, or some combination of those) were not experiencing the type of very positive engagement that he is at Elon. So in a lot of ways he was able to see how good he has it. Also, after the initial party explosion in the first month or so, the Elon party scene has quieted down and is not an issue. He still isn’t a fan of “drink to get drunk” partying, and Elon has more of that than he expected, but he has found enough alternative outlets and social opportunities.
But having said all that, there are still some things that are tugging him back. He really does enjoy the economic diversity that he has here among his friends (and the area in general) that he has found lacking in the “Elon Bubble”. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the people at Elon! He truly does enjoy Elon and has several good friends – he just finds it odd to be around so many people who seem to have so much disposable cash. And – no surprise here – he really misses his Fire/EMS work. He worked like a dog over the holidays as a paid EMT, generally taking overnight shifts – including the dreaded New Years Eve shift. And many of the good old boys at the local volunteer fire company made a point of telling him that he needed to get on back, they need young leadership, he definitely would have been elected to an officer position this year, etc. Gee, thanks fellas! Seriously, he does miss it. I told him that the fire company isn’t going anywhere in the next 3 ½ years --- he could stay at Elon, get his degree and then job hunt in the area. But you know 19-year olds, 3 ½ years seems like an eternity.
So, to wrap up my babbling. When I asked him whether he was still considering transferring his answer was “Yeah – sort of”, which is a weaker response than previously. He likes Elon, he has made some good friends, and he now more fully appreciates what it offers. But he is still at least considering transferring and is applying to UDel and Wesley College. I guess we’ll reconvene when those decisions come in.
|
WestrnMom
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | West Coast, USA |
| Posts: | 1213 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Jan 9th, 2008 11:02 pm |
|
Lderochi, from what I hear, all the colleges have too much underage drinking, especially among the freshmen. So, the idea that the grass might be greener at another school might not even be the case. I've talked to parents of kids who transferred as juniors to other schools. The downside is that most of the other juniors already have groups of friends so it's a little harder to meet people as a junior than it is as a freshman.
I wonder why so many have that much disposable cash. Is it a richer student body (or set of parents) than other colleges?
|
Lderochi
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 307 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Jan 10th, 2008 12:32 am |
|
In a nutshell, yes.
While it's reputation as a country club (a la the Princeton Review) is very overstated in my opinion, it is true that the student body as a whole is fairly well off. Other schools have a similar reputation. University of San Diego and Wake Forest comes to mind, along with some others. There are probably a number of causes, but one is that Elon is fairly stingy with financial aid. 70% of need is met, fairly low when compared to the schools they are competing with. Only 29% of students receive need-based grants, so the aid they do offer is heavy on student loans and work-study.
Even though Elon's "sticker price" is lower than many other private universitites, the "real price" for most students is pretty high when compared to, say, Rhodes, Wofford, Furman and Centre (just a group of schools that I'm pretty familiar with from my son's college search).
On the merit aid side of things, they also don't offer the amount of aid that others do.
In Elon's defense, they have a really big problem -- their endowment is unbelievably small when compared to their peer group schools. They simply can't offer as much aid because they rely pretty heavily on tuition and fees. Beefing up their endowment is clearly their biggest priority -- a fact which we parents were given fair notice of during orientation. They will be rolling out a very big endowment campaign in the next year or so. One of the things I like about Elon, and particularly its President, is that they are very upfront about this. They know it's a concern, they don't hide it, and I think they are determined to address it.
|
scoop
Member
| Joined: | Wed Oct 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 565 |
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Jan 10th, 2008 01:25 am |
|
| I'm glad to hear that things are looking up for your son. I'm sure it made you feel better. It sounds like he is a great kid and a wonderful asset to the community.
|
Current time is 07:21 pm | Page:   1 2 |
|
