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limner
Member
| Joined: | Sun Jul 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | Tennessee USA |
| Posts: | 810 |
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Posted: Wed Jun 20th, 2007 10:11 pm |
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I remember a thread on the other board about how, well, difficult some kids were the summer before they headed off to school. This didn't surprise me, since kids (and parents) prepare for seperating in different ways.
What I've noticed in my son is trend in the opposition direction. He's been really helpful around the house, hanging out with us, discussing books, watching TV and movies--in general, really fun to be around. He's been helping me cook and periodically unloads the dishwasher. I suppose he could have been replaced by a pod person, but I think we're getting the benefit of a non-stressed-out kid.
Which way is your kid leaning?
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entomom
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oregon USA |
| Posts: | 362 |
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Posted: Wed Jun 20th, 2007 10:50 pm |
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Things were pretty rough between AP tests and graduation which wasn't until mid-June. But since then there's been a radical change for the better. My D is just more relaxed and doing the things she loves: watching movies, hanging with her sister and baking like crazy. She's even decided to start taking percussion lessons again!
While she had a good time in HS, I think there are aspects of it that were a yoke that she has been more than happy to get rid of. I also think she has become emotionally happier with her college choice. She has always felt it was the rational thing to do, but as we all know, nothing about love for a school is rational  . Also, she's getting excited about taking some risks and trying new fields of study in the fall.
And, as I reported in another thread, she fixed breakfast in bed for me yesterday morning for no reason at all. Of course, last night she told me it was just a one time deal and not to get used to it! So, you just never know, but for now, I feel like  .
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limner
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| Joined: | Sun Jul 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | Tennessee USA |
| Posts: | 810 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 21st, 2007 01:33 am |
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LOL, EM! Yes, really, we wouldn't want you to get spoiled.
S has been deciding which courses to take in the fall, and I think that's helped to get him a bit excited about what's out there. He's been cooking too, although no baking involved, primarily main courses. We were treated to a "burrito pie" the other night.
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mominva
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | DC Suburbs |
| Posts: | 334 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 21st, 2007 01:49 am |
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limner and entomom- your kids still live there?
we don't think our D has spent more that 40 minutes of awake time here in 4 days, and those have been while we were at work!
I think she's making sure that when september rolls around we won't notice she's gone 
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Wstrdg
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 401 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 21st, 2007 02:32 am |
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Last edited on Thu Jul 12th, 2007 06:02 pm by Wstrdg
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WestrnMom
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| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | West Coast, USA |
| Posts: | 1188 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 21st, 2007 04:20 am |
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Mine is very relaxed. More than I've seen in years. We're all getting along great when he's home. I haven't seen any cleaning or cooking getting done, though, unless I do it. I need to find out what encouraged Limner's son to be so suddenly helpful. I'd be happy if mine put his dishes in the dishwasher and wrote his thank you notes!
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limner
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| Joined: | Sun Jul 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | Tennessee USA |
| Posts: | 810 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 21st, 2007 12:09 pm |
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Okay, well maybe mine has been replaced by a pod person. In the interest of full disclosure, he doesn't always put his dishes in the dishwasher (but way more often than his sister and dad do), but he has written his thank-you notes.
mominva, if had more of a bead on what caused the change, trust me, I'd bottle and sell it.
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mackinaw
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Michigan |
| Posts: | 784 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 21st, 2007 02:23 pm |
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I recall that our son had a calm summer prior to college, working to earn spending money and on his hobbies but otherwise nothing special. That his school year started late (October) led to a certain amount of boredom as all his friends left for college about a month earlier than he did.
My daughter was a totally different story. She was so relieved to be done with high school. But like mominva's daughter, she all but disappeared in that summer, hanging out with friends, partying, never around, and never focusing much on the tasks ahead. She arrived at college exhausted, soon came down with mono and strep throat and nearly had to take a year off.
Although every kid and family situation is different, I think it's important to find a way for a time of planning, reflection and calm before the departure to college. We didn't really mind that our D was having a good time that summer; she would be moving away from most of her home town friends and we knew her college would be arduous (it's a very demanding program). But we should have done more to assure that she had some more extended down time and rest -- perhaps by taking her out of her home environment for a few weeks of vacation with us! Especially because she'd had a very stressful senior year.
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 09:17 pm by mackinaw
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mathmom
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| Joined: | Fri Apr 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 260 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 21st, 2007 07:17 pm |
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We're playing a lot of bridge. Next week Mathson starts drivers ed. A big pain as I have to get him there in the middle of the day everyday. I'm hoping my brother's firm may have some programming work for him, but he is delaying sending the e-mail to ask if they have any projects available.
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ABlestMom
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| Joined: | Mon Jul 31st, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 93 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 21st, 2007 07:49 pm |
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| Mine's a wreck...and she will be a commuter in the fall!!! She's in tech week for a show so that may have something to do with it. In addition, she is second guessing her decision not to go to Mannes. I keep telling her it's only a year! Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 07:50 pm by ABlestMom
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mominva
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | DC Suburbs |
| Posts: | 334 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 21st, 2007 09:18 pm |
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Mac, thanks for the heads up on the exhaustion factor. We may have to take control of August's schedule for health reasons.
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CalifCarolyn
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| Joined: | Tue Apr 4th, 2006 |
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Posted: Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 12:58 am |
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Mine is a whirlwind of activity..She has been out since the 7th and week she attended 2 graduations for friends in other districts and tonight is in Mission Viejo (a town south of here) to attend another graduation. She finally got her drivers lic just before school was out and is enjoying this freedom, and she has started a job (her first) at a daycamp in Newport Beach, is learning to kayak...and attended her Frosh Orientation in Indiana....
and her room is clean
and when she is home she wants to hang out with us 
I am sure the summer will fly by when our older D returns to NEU for the summer session next week.
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entomom
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oregon USA |
| Posts: | 362 |
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Posted: Fri Jun 22nd, 2007 04:35 pm |
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CalifCarolyn,
Aren't clean rooms great?! My D is actually cleaning OUT her room, and believe me she's been a packrat for the past 18 years, so there's a lot of stuff. She had two bags of recycling this week and more to toss or give away. She was actually able to vacuum her entire carpet yesterday.
She spent the last couple of days with friends and happily told her sister to tell all callers that she's not home today. She is excited about spending a day at home alone, reading, doing crossword puzzles and reviewing Spanish.
Talking about crossword puzzles, I found them a great way to impress my D with her mother's incredible intelligence. What she doesn't realize is that living long has a lot more to do with knowing the answers that brains .
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Daaaad
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| Joined: | Sat Jun 3rd, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 104 |
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Posted: Sun Jun 24th, 2007 03:26 pm |
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We still have the usual teen-age give and take with my D but it has been taken to a different level as she readies for college and has come to the realization that as an 18 year old, she now controls the flow of info from college. As a result, she is getting very picky about what she shares. Health issues: Yes. Grades and future schedules: No (- but mom and I have a plan to "hopefully" change that).
On the good side, she just returned from orientation at Ohio State and expressed appreciation that I insisted she sign up for the first session. She was first in line for scheduling and as a result she got a fantastic schedule: no early classes, first choice for her classes and excellent central locations. At OSU, all that is a huge plus.
On the other hand, she had an opportunity for an internship at an architecture firm, but she insisted this was her "last summer to have fun" so that went out the window. But Mom & I laid down the law on spending money for both this summer and at college. She has to earn her own spending money, so she has two jobs, one as a banquet server on weekends and some babysitting during the week. In between, she is either sleeping or with her friends. A fair bargain, given the alternatives.
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binx
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 459 |
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Posted: Sun Jun 24th, 2007 04:20 pm |
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So far, no real difference. She's been an "only" except for vacations, for the past 3 years. She is the resident princess, so nothing much has changed.
I took her to orientation in Ohio this past week. Friday as we were driving home, we got caught in a 5 hour traffic jam in KY. (Truck wreck closed the interstate.) Added to our already 9 hour trip! So we had some major bonding time. Since we were on our way home from orientation, I got to hear her take on things at school (parents and freshmen were separated much of the time). Saturday was her 18th birthday. I wanted to give her 18 presents. My H had ordered her computer and accessories, so we wrapped up printouts of the various pieces, and added some college supplies, and some random silly things. She had a great time opening all the presents.
She used her graduation money to buy herself a trip to Germany, in about a month. So we will only have about a month together - she leaves for college a week after coming home from Germany. I think even with her royal standards, she figures she can put up with me for that long.
While we were stuck in traffic, both of her brothers happened to call. We put my phone on speaker, and got lots of details about what they've been doing. I remember thinking that I hoped she was getting a subliminal message that it is okay to share lots of details with mom about what's happening! I want her to think of this as normal.
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Lderochi
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Posted: Sun Jun 24th, 2007 08:33 pm |
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Son has been generally very good this summer. He is, not surprisingly, gone more than in the past. He's 18, he has a license, he has a car, he has a job, he has some spending money -- I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be homebound if I were him either.
So far, no real surliness -- we let him be pretty independent so long as he continues to earn it. Only one real crisis so far. He was working a late shift at the fire station and (he says) he fell asleep at the station and came rolling in at 5:00 AM. We had a little "discussion" about that and he got a little bent out of shape  .
He was throwing some attitude around that he thought we came down too hard on him. I told him that if he wanted to, I'd call up his Grandmother and she could repeat the lecture I got when I came home at 5:00 without calling. Then he'd know what being read the riot act REALLY means. That actually cracked him up (my mom's general demeanor is a cross between Mrs. Cleaver and Mrs. Wilson from Dennis the Menance) and we got over it.
We don't mind what he did, we do mind that he never called us. He definitely got the message.
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WestrnMom
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | West Coast, USA |
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Posted: Sun Jun 24th, 2007 10:45 pm |
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They "forget" to call. Or there are other people around and they are embarrassed to have to call home when they know they are perfectly safe. Yes, we go through it sometimes. Yes, when they are away at school they will be able to get away with it because they will be "studying." We are going to come to some agreement about how often we expect to hear from him. As we know from D, she always calls when she needs something, so at least the adage "no news is good news" is true.
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CalifCarolyn
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| Joined: | Tue Apr 4th, 2006 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 25th, 2007 02:49 am |
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I have become an expert at sending 'text messages' and receiving them....this can be done even with friends around and no one is the wiser that Mom is asking if she will be home for dinner as a result I get the "guess who I just ran nto at Disneyland text messages" My older D started sending my good morning text messages from Boston her Frosh year and D2 sent messages from Europe last summer so that has been a nice way to check in without being pushy
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mackinaw
Member
| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Michigan |
| Posts: | 784 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 25th, 2007 03:09 am |
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Text message exchange yesterday:
Me: Hey, get my msg tt I put $$ in ur acct?
D: [no response]
Me: Buy som clothes 4 urself, and I'll add 100-200.
D: [immediate response] Ur great!
Me: I know.
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CalifCarolyn
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| Joined: | Tue Apr 4th, 2006 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 25th, 2007 04:07 am |
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mackinaw wrote: Text message exchange yesterday:
Me: Hey, get my msg tt I put $$ in ur acct?
D: [no response]
Me: Buy som clothes 4 urself, and I'll add 100-200.
D: [immediate response] Ur great!
Me: I know.
D: going to Target need a bathing suit 4 work
Me: ok pick up food for Mouse and Cricket (these are our cats)
D: sure I took your ATM
D: oh forgot to tell you I took your car
Me: why
D: no gas in mine
kids and $ just go together
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