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mom61
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| Joined: | Fri Jun 23rd, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 247 |
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Posted: Fri Oct 5th, 2007 12:49 am |
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Got a nice surprise this afternoon when my son called and said he was 30 minutes away. He wasn't due till midnight tonight on the train.
He has rarely called and when he does he talks for about 2 minutes and is always racing to go. He has sounded good but we just didn't know for sure.
He looks pretty good. He looks like he gained a bit of weight but he needed it. His acne is pretty out of control. I think having to go down the hall to shower and wash hasn't helped. He loves his school. Has is surprised at how many friends he has made. He has also made a few really close friends. His dorm is fairly tight including a dorm intermural football team. He feels he made the right choice.
He gets along with his roommate but they have different interests and friends. I think his roommate is a more serious student then my son.
He likes all of his classes. All his classes are less then 20 students. He is taking two classes in his major and is feeling good about them. He had a brief time he was considering a change but is now settling into his major. Thank goodness he finally made it to the tutoring center.
He said they mainly stay on campus and that he has visited the frats but has no interest in pledging. He said his friends are also not interested in greek life.
We are so happy he is happy. We have had nothing but positive experiences with UOP.
Is anyone else home for a few days?
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hummingbird
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Posted: Fri Oct 5th, 2007 01:13 pm |
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| So glad to hear he is doing well at University of the Pacific! You sound relieved and happy. I hope you have a great weekend with him.
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limner
Member
| Joined: | Sun Jul 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | Tennessee USA |
| Posts: | 816 |
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Posted: Fri Oct 5th, 2007 03:31 pm |
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mom61, that's great to hear. Knowing they're happy makes a huge difference, doesn't it? 
My S is heading to Chicago to see a friend there for his fall break. They only get a Monday off anyway, so I understand. H just left this morning for Family Weekend. I'm staying here with the 10-year-old, who doesn't need to miss school. I figure since S comes home at Thanksgiving and stays until Jan. 2, I'll get some time with him then.
His roommate is a great guy, and S says his classes are going well. I think he was relieved about three weeks into the school year when he started getting tests and papers back and realized he "could handle it," as he put it. Like your son, mom61, he's got a group of friends in his dorm. We still miss him lots, but knowing he's happy and enjoying school makes it worth it.
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WestrnMom
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | West Coast, USA |
| Posts: | 1213 |
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Posted: Fri Oct 5th, 2007 06:31 pm |
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Mine is not home. They have two days with no classes, but the time is supposed to be used to study for midterms as far as I know.
I'm glad everything is working out so well for your son. I know you said you thought he'd be just fine there, but it's nice to hear he's thriving and enjoys his school.
The change in his acne could be due to a change in water and environment, too. It might be a good time to visit a dermatologist, either at home or when he gets back to school to see if he needs to change medications or do something differently.
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Lynda
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
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Posted: Fri Oct 5th, 2007 11:58 pm |
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Glad things are well for sons. It is also Fall break for our son but he isn't coming home. Too busy with study days, music fraternity, community service ushering etc. We will see him next week, he will be playing keyboard for a vocalist at a local winery. Yes, he is a trumpet player, but I think in a second life he will be a Jazz pianist.
Seems like it was just last week when I heard that son was on his way home for Freshman Fall Break. The dog and I were jumping in the entry way and I was saying "the kid is coming, the kid is coming".
While everything has ended up positive during son's college experience, can't say the road was without dips-just like life. Still Univ of Redlands has been great for our son.
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CarolynLawrence
Administrator
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | USA |
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Posted: Sat Oct 6th, 2007 01:42 am |
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Ah, come on Lynda, you still jump up and down and say, "the kid is coming, the kid is coming" when he's on his way home. And, you always will. 
My daughter will be home next friday for a week. She and I have both been so busy this year, that we haven't been talking quite as much as we did last year. I am so looking forward to seeing her -- but I can also see that the apron strings are slowly being cut as well.
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Lynda
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
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Posted: Sun Oct 7th, 2007 08:04 pm |
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Carolyn,
You are so right. Nothing makes the empty house happier than the anticipation of "the kid". "The kid" is how we refer to the son when talking to the dog. I can't remember how we started that.
I hope the week with your daughter doesn't pass by too fast, Enjoy.
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CarolynLawrence
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
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Posted: Mon Oct 8th, 2007 01:37 am |
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Lynda, we have three dogs, but one of them is particularly attached to my daughter, and goes into mourning every time she leaves. Earlier today, I said to her, "Rosie, in a few days A. will be home!" Her ears perked up and she ran to the door and started whining. My husband said I was cruel to tease her when she has to wait five whole days! Heck, I feel like whining at the door for the next five days myself.
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CalifCarolyn
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| Joined: | Tue Apr 4th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 573 |
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Posted: Mon Oct 15th, 2007 09:25 pm |
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I put my girl on the plane yesterday after she was home for Fall Break. It was wonderful to see her and it was fun to see our dog run in circles around her and then back to us. I know he was excited and showing us she was home. This morning he was very sad when he went into her room and she wasn't there. He came back to the living room and just plopped down on his rug. That is how I felt at the Long Beach Airport yesterday too...
We had a blast shopping for warm clothes she isn't ready to take off her Rainbows (flip flops) yet but is conceding that she will have to wear different shoes soon and a warm coat. It will be fun to hear her reaction to seeing it snow in Indiana.
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binx
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 459 |
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Posted: Wed Oct 17th, 2007 07:48 pm |
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Hope you don't mind if I jump in the middle of this thread to fret.
We didn't go to Parents Weekend. D said it wouldn't be worth it. Long way to travel, and expensive. As it turned out, she didn't know any other freshman whose parents didn't come. (Disadvantage of attending a state school as an out-of-stater.) She spent most of the weekend alone, because all the other kids were with their parents. Ouch #1.
This weekend is fall break. D is in the middle of midterms, and has had a rough week otherwise, too. She is not coming home for the same reasons we didn't go to Parents Weekend. She said she knows two other kids who are staying on campus for the 3-day weekend. She says it's okay, she needs the peace and quiet to get a couple essays done that are due next week. Ouch #2.
For some (stupid, idiotic, *&%^@#) reason, Miami U has decided that mid-term week of first semester is the appropriate time for the housing lottery for the following year. So my D, who is already a bit overwhelmed with tests and papers, calls me in tears because her roommate has decided to room with 3 other girls in a quad next year, and she hasn't been able to find anybody else who doesn't have a roommate, and is having to go choose a room and take pot luck. She says she has decided to skip her lottery appointment until something/someone turns up. I say, no, she will keep her lottery appointment, choose a room in the dorm she knows she wants, and can back out later (they get 2 weeks to back out.) So she goes. All the rooms in the dorm she wants are full, except for 3 rooms who only have one occupant each. So she randomly chooses a room and roommate she doesn't know. She now has 2 weeks to meet that girl, and decide if she needs to back out.
Why in the world does the school make them do this so early? Not only does she have to live with her roommate the rest of the year, feeling "discarded", but she hasn't really formed a lot of fast and firm friendships yet, to be able to find someone else who needs a new roomie. (The current roommate is nice, and they get along fine, but the roommate is more social, more "worldly," and will be rooming with kids more like herself.)
So that's ouch #3.
And then..... The advantage of having an empty nest was that I was going to be able to travel, pick up and go, etc. Right? So H has a business trip to Germany in Dec, and I buy a ticket to go with him. We'll be gone from Dec 1 to Dec 16. What fun. Then I look at D's schedule. She is done Dec 14!!!! If she comes home that day, there will be no one to pick her up at the airport, and she will come home to an empty house. I feel like a failure as a mother. Now I am having to make alternate arrangements for my D - instead of scheduling everything else around her first return home. Argh. I honestly thought she had school through the following week, like her brother does. I am a terrible mother. Everything else that's going on with her, and I screw up her homecoming. She probably feels completely abandoned. [I am hoping she can stay with my H's brother in Dayton for the weekend, and fly home the 16th and meet up with us at the airport. But still.]
Okay, back to the happy stories. I read them and learn how it's supposed to happen. 
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limner
Member
| Joined: | Sun Jul 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | Tennessee USA |
| Posts: | 816 |
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Posted: Wed Oct 17th, 2007 08:03 pm |
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Oh, binx, I'm sending you (and your D) lots of virtual hugs. You most certainly are NOT a terrible mother, but I completely understand that perspective. Any hurt our kids are feeling are magnified about 1000 times. So her ouches are your gut-punches.
I'm with you on the stupidity of holding a room lottery this early in the year. What numbskulls! I talked to S yesterday, who just got back from a weekend with his girlfriend at her school. She was bemoaning the fact that, although she's made friends, she doesn't have someone in whom she feels she can confide. A friend of hers at another school is feeling very lonely. So I don't think your D is outside the mainstream in not having a close confidante with whom she wants to room.
Just try and remember that all this will look much more manageable in a few days--for both you and your D.Last edited on Wed Oct 17th, 2007 08:04 pm by limner
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WestrnMom
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| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
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Posted: Wed Oct 17th, 2007 11:10 pm |
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Binx, I feel for you. It's so hard to be a mom when your children are that far away and things aren't going well. I just put up a question similar to yours for a friend whose child is having some of the same troubles as your D, only for some reason, I couldn't think of anything to make her feel better. It's hard. I talked to another friend today who just recently went through tough freshman years with each of her children. She said they both had very stressful years. It wasn't until the next fall that they felt like they made good friends and fit into the school. If you think about it, our kids have only been there for a few months. It's not nearly enough time to feel completely settled. For some of them, it's not easy making close friends that quickly.
Maybe you can turn the negatives around
1. She didn't have a rushed and expensive visit with you so her time with you at Winter break will be that much more special.
2. Fall break is only a few days and she will get more work done on campus.
3. At least they got the housing lottery and roommate situation over early. What if she and the new roommate become very good friends this year? Then she's met a new friend now that she wouldn't have met until next fall. They can take the time to get to know one another. My D changed roommates several times, always her choice, and it always worked out for the better.
4. Well, I agree I'd feel badly about that, but if you can find a place for her to stay for 2 days, then you will all be returning home at the same time. In the end, the whole visit will more than make up for those 2 days.
Last edited on Wed Oct 17th, 2007 11:11 pm by WestrnMom
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mattmom
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| Joined: | Wed Apr 4th, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 30 |
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Posted: Thu Oct 18th, 2007 12:11 pm |
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Binx, I'm sorry about the Parents Weekend experience and I hope fall break is pleasanter and indeed a relaxing breathing spell for your D. I think Parents' weekend is a bigger deal for first-year students than for others, and your D may not have realized that at herparticular school it was indeed a well-attended event for first-years. But it's surprising and a little disappointing that other parents didn't step in and invite your D to join their families for a meal or excursion somewhere--I guess it's a reminder to us all that when visiting our children we should see think about inviting un-parented friends along for something, even if just a lunch.
Can you send an unexpected treat along to your D in time for the weekend or for exam period? I've done that a couple of times over the years and it seemed to help in turning the mood--fancy candy apples form one of the large companies, or a box of elegant cookies or chocolates? There are several good online sources.
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binx
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
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Posted: Thu Oct 18th, 2007 12:29 pm |
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I talked to my D last night, and she was quite happy - even giddy. (If she wasn't a teenaged girl, I'd worry about manic-depressive! ) Her exams are over, so life is looking better. She had one exam not go so well, but said she wasn't going to think about it, since there is nothing she can do now. The rest seemed to go okay. Perhaps she'll end up with all A's and a C. (She has a B and a B- in the class so far.) I am trying to convince her to schedule time with the prof in the one class. But with her "It's over" mentality, I'm not getting through. The class is all essays, and she just doesn't seem to be reading the prof's mind about what he wants. She is usually quite a good writer. She says she isn't getting "deep enough".
Last week she mentioned that she had only one pair of jeans, and her capris weren't cutting it anymore, now that the weather was getting cooler. I don't know why she didn't take more warm clothes with her. But I mailed her two boxes this week - with 2 pair of pants she left at home, and 3 pair that I bought on Saturday! I told her that she had two boxes coming, and she was happy. So even though I missed getting them there in time for mid-terms, at least she has something to look forward to. She's getting a bag of chocolate covered raisins in there, too. Her favorite.
My brother-in-law has to go there today and tomorrow for a business meeting. He is meeting her tonight. He is bringing her two blankets, and two pair of gloves! They have agreed - She will go to his family's house that weekend school is out. She is perfectly happy with that solution, and said she thinks it's pretty funny that I did that. She likes her young cousins - they treat her like a rock star or something. (They went to her concert last week, too. So she isn't completely abandoned - only by her mother. )
She also mentioned that she's found another person or two staying over the weekend.
Thanks for the encouragement. After reading Westrnmom's post about her friend's S, I realize how minor my concerns are. I just needed to vent. I miss her, but a long, happy phone call - even when it comes past my bedtime - makes up for a lot.
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