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hummingbird
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Posted: Thu Jun 7th, 2007 08:09 pm |
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| For those of you with students who have moved or are moving to a college that is far from your home (too far to drive): how do you get them & their belongings there? Do you go along with them on move-in day or send them on their own? Last edited on Sat Jun 9th, 2007 11:17 pm by hummingbird
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entomom
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Oregon USA |
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Posted: Thu Jun 7th, 2007 08:23 pm |
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| My younger D and I will fly out with my older D to get her settled. She will have the better part of six suitcases to use, that's probably more than enough to fill a dorm room. We'll rent a car at the airport, both to drive to the school and to shop for some basics that she can get there. I may ship her some boxes of stuff later, but I hope not as it's just more to deal with at the end of the school year.
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GoBlueAlumMom
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| Location: | Michigan |
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Posted: Thu Jun 7th, 2007 09:08 pm |
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Entomom--
If you and your D are IKEA shoppers, there's a gorgeous new store just a short detour on the way to Ann Arbor from the airport. I practically bought out the store last summer for S's dorm room. That place is addicting, great stuff, and the prices are amazing! http://www.ikea.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/IkeaNearYouView?storeId=12&langId=-1&catalogId=10103&StoreName=canton
Last edited on Thu Jun 7th, 2007 09:10 pm by GoBlueAlumMom
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leftcoast
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Posted: Thu Jun 7th, 2007 10:30 pm |
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My daughter flew out alone to college -- we're on the west coast, she's at Barnard - and it worked out fine. She did have a good friend in Manhattan that she could stay with in advance of move-in day -- so she actually flew out a few days early. She took a couple of large suitcases plus her laptop computer, and we boxed up and shipped out other stuff before she left. I think that, given the urban location, it was easier for her to go alone -- at least that was the point she urged. I mean -- I would have meant another person and more luggage in a taxi -- I had no intention of renting a car for NYC.
I do think having gone through it with 2 kids that kids and parents alike fail to realize that their kid is going away for 3 months to live in a very small room in a city or town with many retail stores, not moving to Siberia to live in a warehouse for a lifetime. In other words.... we make too big of a deal of "the move" and pack far too much. Yes, a first aid kit and flashlight and lots of extension cords and duct tape will be very handy for them to have....no, it will not be impossible for them to acquire those things later on if they don't happen to pack them.
I honestly think that everyone would be fine if the kids packed for a 2-week vacation rather than an expedition to the far reaches of the galaxy. Things that are forgotten can be shipped, bought by mail, or purchased locally. The kid will be coming home for winter break and can take more items from home then. In May, the kid will have to move out of the tiny room and either ship everything home or be faced with the problem of finding local storage -- at that point, they are sure to be faced with the realization that they didn't need all that stuff in the first place.
So my advice: if you possibly can, pack light. The kid is not going to Jupiter.
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safisher
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Posted: Thu Jun 7th, 2007 11:19 pm |
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Agree with the posts above. Pack light, remember for several months you only need summer clothing. Get the bulky stuff like pillows, desk lamps and linens, by pre-ordering from Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, Walmart etc. In homogenized America there will be a chain store close by that you can order through their website for pick up when you get there. You can mail the winter stuff later.
We went out with our D last year as a freshman to get her through the drama of finding her dorm room, meeting her roommate and at least getting a start on setting up the room. This year she knows exactly where to go, what to do and who her roommates are, and actually wants to go out early.
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atlantamom
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 11:31 am |
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| Agree with everyone here. We combined our son's move-in with a visit to family in Baltimore. I wanted to see his room and meet his roommate. We bought almost everything he needed in Philly (IKEA!). He didn't take winter clothes because he knew he would be home again in early October. He took his winter stuff back with him then.
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Fireflyscout
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 12:51 pm |
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We rented a minivan (unlimited mileage) to drive from Texas to Minnesota for freshman move-in. Now she has most of her stuff in summer storage (offered by the college for $5 per box).
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entomom
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 02:59 pm |
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| IKEA sounds perfect, thanks for the link GoBlue!
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WestrnMom
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 03:08 pm |
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leftcoast, I am laughing. D has moved in and out of dorms and apartments so many times, and each time, more stuff comes back home. Her room is overflowing, and now it's in my space. I told her if she doesn't come home when she's done and start sifting through it, I will and she's not going to be happy. They don't need all that junk, really. Especially if she didn't want to take it back with her the following year. At some point, she's not even going to need a room at home, except to store things she's not using.
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beazer
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 04:35 pm |
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My kids both went far from home last year, to small schools in small-ish towns (with colder climates) without great shopping resources nearby. My husband and I went along because we wanted to, and everybody took two big pieces of luggage, which accommodated lots of stuff. I shipped the winter clothes later. At each school we managed one quick shopping trip to KMart/Walmart for larger things (laundry basket, wastebasket, laundry soap, etc.), but there were so many orientation activities that there really wasn't much time for shopping. I was glad we'd bought a lot of stuff ahead of time when we had time to think about it, even though that meant we had more to carry. I bought sheets and towels ahead of time because I wanted to wash them before use.
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 04:59 pm |
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I guess I have to say that it is not ALWAYS the parent who thinks it's necessary to bring more than a few suitcases to college -- Leaving home for the first time to go thousands of miles away may be no big deal to some kids, but as excited as she was, my daughter was also pretty anxious. She really wanted and needed to bring some of the things that others might see as unnecessary and she is a bit of a packrat in general. My husband and I decided that it really wasn't going to be a big deal if she over-packed. If it all wouldn't fit in her room, we'd just take it back with us. 
I think that there is also a difference between a kid who is going to school in a major city, or to a large university, and one who is going to a small school in a small town. There are NO stores within easy walking distance of my daughter's campus. The closest store is a grocery store three miles away and through an iffy area. Even the school's bookstore is off-campus in downtown! Her school does run a shuttle to Wal-Mart occasionally, but usually it runs at strange times (9 pm on a Wednesday night, for instance), when my daughter is busy studying or doing something else. My daughter also prefers not to shop at Wal-Mart for political reasons, so stocking her up with what she'd need (shampoo, soap, medicines) when she first got there really was a necessity in her case. Sometimes, shopping isn't very easy, especially when it involves walking for miles in sub-zero temperatures through iffy parts of town when you're sick.
My husband, I, and my son did fly out with her to get her settled. It was actually a wonderful time for us as a family. One of my favorite memories of my kids will always be watching my son help his sister put away her clothes in her dorm room. He was as proud and excited for her as my husband and I were. It just wouldn't have been the same for us, as a family, if we had had to put her on a plane by herself, although I certainly understand that not every family is as fortunate as we were to be able to accompany her. We shipped two boxes to the college the week before move-in day and they were waiting for us when we got there (check with individual colleges on this - some schools won't take deliveries until the student is actually there). We fit the rest of her things into a few large suitcases that went on the plane with us.
We arrived two days before move-in, rented a car, and did most of her shopping at Target and Best Buy about a half hour drive away (Tip: You can usually search the website of any major chain to get a list of where the nearest store is)
She had a single room her freshman year so there was no local roommate to depend on to bring things like a rug, bookcase, microwave, refrigerator, etc. so she actually did have quite a bit to get. One tip: If you go to the websites of most of the major chain stores, you usually find out store locations and plan what you need to buy at home that way -- knowing that there was a Best Buy a half hour away, for instance, we realized that she could wait to buy her computer and printer locally (although she never would have been able to get over there if we hadn't been there with the rental car!)
Even though she'll be keeping her same room next year, the school required her to move everything out of her room for the summer. There's some on-campus storage, but space is limited, and she had some concerns about security. Although I'm sure she would have managed, my husband flew out and helped her pack up her room. That's just the kind of guy he is, and she appreciated his help because she was overwhelmed with finals and final art projects and didn't have much time to pack. They brought her summer clothes and some things she didn't want/need home with them on the airplane and moved the rest into a storage locker that costs $10 a month.
In August, she's bringing her car to school ( ), and she and my husband will drive it cross country the week before school begins. They're looking forward to the "big adventure" and are already plotting their route. I'm a little envious that I can't tag along. Not sure yet how she'll bring the car home at the end of the year, but over breaks she either park it at the airport or keep it at a friend's house who lives near the airport.
Overall, the logistics of moving her to school and getting her settled really haven't been major hassles at all. It's just like anything else: where there's a will, there's a way.
Last edited on Fri Jun 8th, 2007 05:34 pm by CarolynLawrence
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jocelynDAD
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 07:52 pm |
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We drove our D2 to Minnesota from New Jersey last August, on our return D3 visited colleges with me and my Wife flew home. This spring, I returned to Minnesota and came home with more stuff. Like Carolyn, Refrig, chair, furniture lamps were all items plus considerable # of books (D2 loves Amine and her collection is paramount).
Girls do seem to need more touches of home and since we have a minivan, we use it.
Come this fall, off we will go again, hopefully, D2 will lessen her 'needs', but I am not counting on it happening. 
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Wstrdg
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 08:26 pm |
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jocelynDAD, I agree that it must be a gender thing.
Last edited on Thu Jul 12th, 2007 07:30 pm by Wstrdg
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 10:16 pm |
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Not sure it's a gender thing. You should see what my son is planning to take for three weeks at CTY this summer. And, he's already got a shopping list going for his college dorm room, heaven help his roommate. 
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leftcoast
Member
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 11:39 pm |
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At some point, she's not even going to need a room at home, except to store things she's not using.
Well, that's the ultimate problem. Eventually you end up with your kids living on their own all year round, and empty bedrooms filled to the brim with all the stuff they've left behind. If you let it happen, your home will be treated as the ultimate, unlimited free-storage facility.
My son kept promising to go through his stuff and never did, but finallly told me that I could give away all the clothing in one huge box he had left behind. I decided to go through it before stuffing the clothes into Goodwill bags, and found three barely worn, perfect condition, solid color sweatshirts, in navy & gray. So I tossed them in the washer and I'm wearing one right now. 
But I am slowly going through the rest of the stuff.
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leftcoast
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Posted: Fri Jun 8th, 2007 11:55 pm |
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Keep in mind that if your kid's campus is NOT near major retail outlets, you can buy just about anything you want these days online--- often there are discount prices available and many of the online stores offer free shipping for orders of a certain size. Generally delivery is by UPS within a week of the time the order is placed.
Don't forget ebay -- a lot of bargains there!
And once they are gone, online shopping is a super-easy way to send a care package. My favorite site is http://www.from-mom.com/ because of their "Build your own" care package option, and because I like the selection they offer of healthy foods as well as candies & cookies.
Carolyn -- I think its great that you and your husband have been able to give your daughter so much help on the move in and out, including flying/driving out so far! However, for many of us, extra airfare, vehicle expenses, or time lost from work is a huge expense at a time when we are already strapped financially just to pay for college -- so packing light enough so that the kid can manage on her own also can be an economic decision.
I'd note that at the end of the school year my daughter sold a lot of her stuff to other students, particularly CD's & videos. She cleared out her dorm room and put stuff in storage about 2 weeks before moveout date, and then with her own dorm room clean and ready to vacate, she hired herself out to other students for room-cleaning services -- a couple of students paid her $40 apiece simply for taking on the job of cleaning up after them. One girl had left possessions behind and said my d. could keep whatever as there -- the girl had left a couple of tennis rackets-- my d. brought them home and she and her boyfriend now are playing tennis every weekend. I guess this is all one side benefit of a kid with limited finances and a strong work ethic living in close proximity with girls from very affluent backgrounds! (I didn't ask, but knowing my daughter, I'll bet that she is happy to take cast off clothing from her rich friends as well).
Anyway, the point is that many of us do need to economize.
Last edited on Sat Jun 9th, 2007 07:21 am by leftcoast
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Sat Jun 9th, 2007 04:11 am |
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leftcoast wrote:
Carolyn -- I think its great that you and your husband have been able to give your daughter so much help on the move in and out, including flying/driving out so far! However, for many of us, extra airfare, vehicle expenses, or time lost from work is a huge expense at a time when we are already strapped financially just to pay for college -- so packing light enough so that the kid can manage on her own also can be an economic decision.
Anyway, the point is that many of us do need to economize.
Leftcoast, I certainly understand and I know we are fortunate. But, believe me, we don't exactly live high on the hog either, and economizing has always been a fact of life for our family in order to pay for our children's educations out of pocket. We don't exactly have money just laying around for travel, although that would be nice. I don't get paid when I miss work either, and my husband has limited paid vacation time. But to us, accompanying our daughter to college was a priority, and worth every penny, even though it did (and will, after we get done with our son) pinch us financially. But of course I recognize that it's not possible for every family, nor should anyone feel guilty if it is something they cannot do or choose not to do.
However, parents of juniors and sophomores might want to factor this into the equation. If your child is considering a college far from home and having at least one family accompany your child is a priority for your family, saving a bit here and there ahead of time, planning time off from work, and shopping for cheap airfares, can sometimes make it possible. It did for our family. But again, no one should feel guilty if it doesn't work out. We all do the best we can.
As for ordering online -- look for the free shipping deals. Otherwise, it might be cheaper to just buy at home and ship it all at once in mixed boxes. Those catalog shipping costs can add up!
Last edited on Sat Jun 9th, 2007 06:06 am by CarolynLawrence
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CalifCarolyn
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Posted: Sat Jun 9th, 2007 05:31 am |
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Just adding in a little...
When D1 moved to Boston in the fall of 2005 I was one of those parents who flew with her-- my "stuff" was limited to 1 bag. My other bag was packed with her 'stuff' we then shopped for necessities at BB&B and Target. Using taxis and public transportation was an adventure for me--not something we do in Southern California--
The 1-1 time with my daughter was very important for me Boston is far away and I knew I needed to see her settled. She brought some 'extra' stuff home at thanksgiving and took warm clothes back. she has been lucky to have a friend who has Grandparents in the Boston Area with space in their garage for storage of bedding, printer, books etc... during school breaks. We ordered some things and had them delivered (a printer) which made things easier too.
D2 will be moved in by the entire family as we back it up with a vacation (D1 and her boyfriend will even fly in from Boston) this one needs more 'stuff' to feel comfortable so it will be more interesting. She will be leaving Sunday for orientation at Valpo and will be making her list (and checking it much more than twice) she already has her quilt (a present I made from her t-shirts) and used grad money for matching towels. She will need warm clothes but will have to buy them in Indiana not here and at least Valparasio has resources.
I agree with Carolyn...for our family this is important and although it puts a chunk into our budget it is just part of the college expense we have factored in....just like going to France for Thanksgiving will be for us next year so we can visit D1 as she does a semester abroad....
Last edited on Sat Jun 9th, 2007 05:33 am by CalifCarolyn
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leftcoast
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Posted: Sat Jun 9th, 2007 08:53 pm |
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I know that you guys mean well, but when someone tells you that they cannot do something for financial reasons, and you respond by saying that it's hard for you too, but it is a priority in your family because you love your kids so much..... that sounds lik a put down. From the perspective of person short on cash, it sounds like you dismissing a serious financial concern as being something trivial and indicative of poor parenting or selfishness.
I raised the economic issue in part for myself, since it happened to be that my "priority" was dealing with the bill from the bursar for the first semester, but I also was thinking of other parents who might read this thread and have similar economic limitations. Some of us are already strapped to the max meeting our COA, and may be contemplating tens of thousands of dollars of debt in PLUS loans with our kids maxing out on available student loans in order to make it all work. We are doing that because we place a very high value on our kid's education.... but there are a lot of expenses that are simply not absolutely necessary and may represent a significant hardship to many families.
For families who are contemplating sending their kids to distant colleges, this is a very real concern. I think it is an issue that others should be sensitive to when someone asks how to manage the move. I wanted to make it clear that it is very possible to get a kid safely packed off to college without spending a huge amount of money beyond the travel allowance written into the financial aid budget (which is $800 for the year for my daughter). And to those of us whose experience with college move-in involves dropping our kid off at the airport and going home to wait for the phone call letting us know the kid has arrived safely at the other end ... it isn't a matter of "priorities". We do love our kids and cherish the time we spend with them, we just don't have the funds on hand to go everywhere they go.
Last edited on Sat Jun 9th, 2007 11:17 pm by leftcoast
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Thumper
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Posted: Sat Jun 9th, 2007 09:43 pm |
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| We too moved a kid from one coast to the other. In our case, we were able to eliminate very heavy winter garb and bed linens from the mix as DD was going to a warmer climate. I went with her, and we had four suitcases total (well...plus an instrument bag, computer briefcase, and two backpacks...we looked like the Beverly Hillbillies without the rocking chair). We ordered "bulky stuff" like mattress pad, pillow, lamp, from BB and Beyond and picked it up in CA. We also got the cheapest computer printer on the market, and a small TV there. NOW...fast forward to this week. DD called....comment "I can't believe how much "stuff" I have!!" This comment because now she has to pack up all the stuff she is not bringing home for the summer (translation...no linens, no colder weather clothes, no towels, no tv, no microwave, no printer, no books, no waste basket or light, no school supplies, no over the door shoe rack, no hangers). She says she wishes she had thought of what it would be like packing all of this up at the end of the year as she "accumulated stuff" all year long. Her free advice...pack light, and don't buy too much. Packing and storing is a headache. Now...her brother's advice (and he has liberally given it for a few years). Put all the things you THINK you need to take to college in one room (your living room or dining room)...then take less than 1/2 of it. Dorm rooms aren't very big and you won't need or use much of the stuff anyway. This summer he is going away for nine weeks with one suitcase.
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