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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Tue May 22nd, 2007 10:22 pm |
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An article in the Philadelphia Inquirer earlier this week made me think about how parents sometimes inadvertently add stress for their kids as they apply to college. (I know I'm guilty as charged myself.  ) In my blog today I review an article penned by the head of NYU's Child Study Center.
My question for parents who have already finished: What strategies did you find useful in helping your child manage stress during the college process?
And, for those facing college applications in the future: What techniques/tools/ideas will you use to try to help your child cope with the inevitable stress?
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WestrnMom
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Posted: Tue May 22nd, 2007 10:49 pm |
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Knowing what is going to be stressful for your child in advance is the best way to alleviate stress. I knew the essays would be the most difficult, so I offered suggestions on topics, and gave a lot of support to ideas. Filling out the generic Cal State application was tedious. They are required to punch in ever single course title and grade earned each semester, including summer school. I sat with him while he filled out the applications, more as moral support because I knew there would be a high frustration factor. I also suggested he spend short amounts of time filling in data, saving it and taking breaks. Several parents actually filled out their kids' information on the applications, especially the numbers because their kids were so busy with sports, schoolwork, and other ECs they were literally never home to do it. We determined that EA and rolling schools were his best options, so it was all done early. I kept reminding him that he would have the entire winter break free if he got everything in early. That proved to be true, and he was very relieved. In all, the process was almost stress free.
What we didn't factor in was lost paperwork by the colleges. One lost his teacher recs, and 2 claimed they never received his transcripts, even though his college counselor kept very good records and had proof that they were all sent in. To keep stress at a minimum, check weekly on the college websites to make sure all the paperwork has been received and recorded. If there are any discrepancies, have the student call immediately, don't wait. The same is true of scholarship information. If the students should hear by a certain date, and they don't hear, call in. When all the paperwork is submitted, give them a week or two, especially with private school merit aid, and then call to make sure they have everything they need.
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mackinaw
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Posted: Tue May 22nd, 2007 11:25 pm |
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Ok, I confess. Or rather, I'll offer a partial confession now and maybe elaborate it later. But basically the process was driven by our kids' own personalities and interests, and by our willingness to do a lot of the little things.
For No. 1, well he couldn't be bothered with visits to colleges, writing for applications, guidebooks, or anything else. He was very busy with his main EC -- debate -- and his major secondary one -- school newspaper. His main search process was to talk with me! He wasn't particularly motivated by HYPS, and even denigrated his cousins' interests along that line (one who attended P, another S; a third sibling in that same family attended Brown). We picked a bunch of schools that fit his intellectual and other tastes, some that turned out to be poor fits. I wrote for information. After the application forms arrived, I prepared a spreadsheet with all of the due dates, and all of the application elements that were required, and gave it to him. He filled out blanks of the applications and wrote the essays (basically one essay in a couple of variations worked for all 6 colleges to which he applied; he didn't write the "uncommon essay" for UChicago but got admitted anyway), and I typed the application forms (typewriters -- remember those? In 1995 they still weren't hard to find).
This was very low stress not only because I did a lot of the bureaucratic work (writing for forms, setting up a spreadsheet, typing the final application from his written draft) but also because the set of schools he had chosen were well within his range (only one true lottery reach: he did apply to H; the rest were pretty much matches or safeties). He got into all but his lottery reach, visited a couple of the schools in April after admission, and that was it.
So I guess you could say that the main way we reduced stress was not to stress out about super reaches, not to insist on college visits (after all, I chose my colleges sight unseen and survived to tell the tale; and he had visited many colleges in connection with debate tournaments and this helped shape his tastes somewhat).
Fortunately, we didn't really have to worry much about costs, and that was truly a stress reliever. Find schools you might like, visit the ones you get into, choose the one you like most -- and you always have the fallback of a fine fine public flagship university or two right here in Michigan.
The story was different for No. 2, my daughter, who decided her junior year that she wanted to attend art school. That was more stressful to us (parents) because such programs and schools were beyond my or my wife's ken. There was much uncertainty about admissions standards and fit. She did attend summer precollege art programs, which helped her to gauge her talent against the potential competition.
But she didn't want to do any college visits until after her junior year (we asked; she said no). So we did one grand swing eastward and visited 11 colleges on a 2-week trip in June (bad month to make college visits, but what can you do?), and even got a couple of days rest on the Maine coast. She didn't make it any easier by ruling out all of our in-state universities. And she had the added task of completing a portfolio -- along with SAT's, ACT's, essays, and so forth.
Somehow, this all got done (February 15th for the portfolio at RISD), and she collapsed in a heap. We sighed in relief when the first letter of admission came back in early March. She wouldn't end up attending the local CC after all. The biggest problem was getting her head ready to set off for college in September.
Addendum: I think things have changed a lot for many kids since mine applied in the latter 1990's. One way is the increased competitiveness of admissions at many top colleges "beyond the Ivy League." Another is the fact that many colleges appear to look harder for evidence of the applicant's interest (e.g., visits to the colleges, contacts with admissions officers, etc.) so it's higher risk just to apply "cold" to a college. A third way, perhaps the most important, is the increased emphasis on early admissions (EA/ED), which IMHO forces far too many kids to make a "final choice" of schools by fall of their senior years. Neither of my kids applied "early" (though my son had a couple of rolling admission applications), and neither was looking for the single, perfect school for them.
Last edited on Thu May 24th, 2007 01:27 am by mackinaw
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leftcoast
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Posted: Tue May 22nd, 2007 11:59 pm |
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Here's the mistake I made -- my kids both felt that I added a lot of stress to my daughter's process by "lacking faith" in her abilities to get into reach colleges. I could see easily that my daughter's SAT/ACT scores were at the bottom of the range for the schools she targeted, so I kept encouraging her to focus more on safeties; I was also pessimistic about financial aid because the online calculators came up with impossible numbers for the private colleges when I factored in my California home equity.
Hanging out on these college discussion boards didn't help, either. I formed enough of an online relationship with a very well known author of several books geared to college admissions that was strong enough for me to ask for some informal advice, and she told me that, with her SAT scores, we shoudn't even bother to apply to Barnard -- she was very firm about that, and suggested Mt. Holyoke instead.
Ha, ha.... the joke was on me. Barnard's financial aid offer for my daughter's first year was so amazing that I wanted to hug the financial aid lady after I talked to her (but I couldn't figure out how to do that over the phone). And not only did they accept my d. as a RD applicant during the most competitive admissions year in the entire history of the college, but it turns out that my d. actually can do the work -- she has straight A's spring semester - woo hoo!
Anyway.... my son kept telling me I should have more faith in his sister and that I was undermining her confidence by always talking about how difficult it was to get into her top choices. After she got in, he tried to give me a statistics-for-dummies style lesson in understanding the concept of "median" score ranges -- he insisted that the schools would accept interesting students like my d. even with low scores, and then just balance that out by also accepting boring students with really high scores, so the "median" just didn't reflect how wonderful and amazing the students on the lower half were.
Of course, I had been thinking I was shielding my daughter from disappointment -- I just didn't want her to get hopes up over colleges that we couldn't afford and that she probably wouldn't get into (in my eyes). Carolyn's persistent advice -- "love thy safety" -- seemed the most logical. But my d. says that she would have preferred more enthusiasm and encouragement from me -- (kind of the rah, rah you-are-so-sure-to-win attitude I had at dance competitions) -- and she now says she was pretty sure she would get into Barnard all along.
So I'm not sure I have too much in the way of advice.... other than more duct tape. Maybe the best thing parents can do to alleviate stress is stay away from the process as much as possible. (At least I am not guilty of too much nagging about the deadlines for applying to all those colleges that I thought were impossible -- I pestered over the UC deadline in November, then pretty much backed off and let go)
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leftcoast
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 12:29 am |
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I also suggested he spend short amounts of time filling in data, saving it and taking breaks. Several parents actually filled out their kids' information on the applications, especially the numbers because their kids were so busy with sports, schoolwork, and other ECs they were literally never home to do it.
I think it's wonderful that you sat with your son and provided company and moral support as he filled in the forms -- but I really do not agree with parents who feel they need to fill out the applications for their kids because the kids are "too busy" with their other activities. To me, the thing causing too much stress for those kids is the fact that they have so many ECs that they are never home -- not the need to do college apps. (I mean, where's their down time?) [I always insisted that no matter how many activities my d. had, there also had to be at least one evening a week reserved for personal/family/friends ... I didn't care when that was, I just feel that everyone needs time in their lives for rest & relaxation]
I think a parent can help with collecting the information for the form -- but with the common app there really isn't a need for multiple entries, and in any case now that most stuff is done online, it's fairly easy to cut and paste information from one format to another. And certainly a student with a true disability can benefit from physical assistance (I mean, if the kid has a broken arm, it's logical for someone else to do the data entry).
But aside from the "cheat" or "too much help" issue (remember those 4th grade science fair projects that obviously were put together by parent?) -- I am not sure that it helps alleviate *stress* to when parents take over tasks that should be the kid's responsibility. In a sense, it represents the parent hanging on to a measure of ownership and control of the process -- and I know that I do not always feel calmer about work-related tasks when some of the work has been done by others. On the contrary, I usually feel more nervous, wondeirng about whether they are doing their part the way I would want it done.
I mean... I know that we parents feel stressed worrying about whether our kids have done things "right" -- maybe we add an element of stress to the kid's process when they have to worry about whether mom remembered to list all their awards. Also -- if we enter the "facts" then we are simply leaving the student with *only* the hard stuff -- the essays and short answers. If a kid who is stuck on an essay starts with the "easy" task of entering in their course data or list of awards and ECs, that may be a very helpful starting point in the process, which can also help get creative juices flowing.
Last edited on Wed May 23rd, 2007 12:34 am by leftcoast
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mackinaw
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 12:42 am |
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One way to ease the "fact filling" is to do it once, so to speak.
In preparation for asking teachers for letters of recommendation, my kids each prepared resumes (in early Fall). These were updated through the senior year and had almost all of the types of "fact" that were needed for the applications (courses taken, GPA, test scores, EC's, awards). So when the kids prepared their applications, they didn't have to search around for facts -- this info was all in one place.
These resumes were actually submitted as supplemental information to a few of the schools.
Last edited on Wed May 23rd, 2007 12:51 am by mackinaw
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 12:56 am |
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| I think Mack's point is important: Different kids will have different needs, and need/want different levels of help and support. I see this in the students I work with all the time and also with my own two kids. Some kids really are fine doing things on their own, others need a lot of hand-holding and reassurance, and, yes, even a bit of nagging. So, as parents, we do have to start with the child before deciding how much support is going to be just right, and how much is going to be interference. It is probably a good idea to discuss expectations upfront, even if they are adjusted along the way. At some point, however, I think that if the parent is doing everything for the student, and it is clear that the student has absolutely no investment or interest in the process, that it may be time to re-assess whether the child is really going to be ready to go to college in a year.
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leftcoast
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 06:13 am |
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I think the problem is that sometimes the student might not have enough investment or interest in the process precisely because the parent is doing too much. I'm not saying that any of the wise parents who post on this board would cross that line.... but I definitely have known some parents whose over-involvement seemed smothering.
Anyway, I don't want to start a debate over where the lines need to be drawn -- each family can figure it out for themselves -- I just wanted to point out in the context of alleviating stress that too much "help" with the process can contribute to the stress -- and apparent lack of involvement. That is, the student's disinterest could be a reactive response to what some kids may perceive as their parent's unreasonably high expectations or obsession with the process.
The process of selecting and applying to colleges is a huge step in terms of the child's transition to adulthood and independence. It is the time when the the student makes a choice that will influence the direction of the rest of their life -- if a kid feels that a parent is taking away their ability to make that choice, or that the parent lacks faith in their ability to make or effectuate the choice.... well, it can be demotivating.
So I think it is best to let the kid call the shots as much as possible. The parents can put the kid in charge, and offer support by letting the child know that they are there to help, but only if asked -- let the kid decide which tasks should be delegated along the way.
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jocelynDAD
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 06:54 am |
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Stress is a variable based on the individual child and his family/school situation.
Basically, everyone is unique. Ergo, any advice on this line might be great or useless depending on the individual child.
What we do in our home is the following. Since our children have multiple older siblings all successfully completed college there is an awareness and an expectation on our younger children that their parents know something about the college search process.
By the summer between the Sophomore and Junior year, colleges in general are discussed. Mostly about size, location and less about what to study. Visits to colleges are a must in our family. Seeing is believing, nothing can replace actually walking on the campus and eyeballing the area.
We stress that our child will be living in that environment for 4 years, so the location of the campus (rural, urban etc) must be considered and the area surrounding the campus is a consideration (minor but not to be ignored).
Similar to Mackinaw, we are the Secretary for the details, rankings, rate of graduates, cost factors, application rates, schedules, and maintaining the files.
We set up a file drawer, as a college gets on the 'interested' list, a folder is created and as materials come in or go out, it is maintained in this file.
The vast number of inquiries email or snail mail are screened for possible interest. If none, it is deleted or filed in the waste basket.
Information is requested on the website from the college and each email is responded to with a brief reply and thanks.
When a visit is made to an college on the 'interested' list, the folder comes with us and the child reviews the available data. At the college, all relevant materials available is collected including catalogs (if printed - some colleges are fully on-line and do not print catalogs any more), Our child will write up her impressions of the college to whatever extent she deems relevant. This is filed as well.
Once the final list is created, then a chart is created with all dates and materials required. This chart is maintained by the Secretary (Dad), as events occur (ie Teachers form given, mailed, received) are noted for each college. Our children's GC is a friend, whose two children are at the same juncture as our two youngest D's, so we compare notes and discuss the children's searches.
While our children know we expect them to work hard and diligent in school, we are pleased with A's (naturally) and B's. C's will get our immediate attention, but happily (so far) they have been almost non-existent with D2 and D3 has none.
The ACT and SAT tests are deemphasized at our home. We have the study guides for both tests, but it is up to our child to pursue or not the studying for these tests.
So far, grades and tests results have not caused any noticeable stress. Since we love the size and dedication we have found at LAC's (and some small private universities), we have steered our children towards these type schools. So far, it has worked and LAC's are our child's focus.
We encourage our children to seek colleges for their academic capabilities and social scene.
So far, none of our children have been stressed - all have had multiple acceptances and were able to choose their best 'fit'.
Last edited on Wed May 23rd, 2007 05:12 pm by jocelynDAD
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mackinaw
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 01:53 pm |
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I think a leitmotif in a couple of these stories is that the way to reduce stress for the child is to reduce stress for and by the parents. Of course it's not one-size fits all.
For us, I think the most important things to reduce stress were the framework of not getting fixated on finding the perfect college, not getting into testomania and seeking to max out on scores, and letting the kids focus on the things that only they could do (schoolwork, ec's, tests, big and little essays, portfolios). No college counselors, no test prep programs, just one repeated test.
Like JDad, we maintained the "files" (a large cardboard file-box with hanging files for each "prospect" and a single compartment for all "others."). For our daughter participation in a couple of national portfolio days in Fall of her senior year was important to her final portfolio preparation. Getting the portfolio together was demanding on her time, since she was taking a full "academic" program and wasn't enrolled in an arts magnet school.
The most frustrating thing to us (the parents) was that nothing was submitted more than a few days before the deadline -- those essays, that portfolio. Also, with our daughter, we just didn't have any guideposts for admission to art schools, so there was a lot more uncertainty and some angst about admission criteria and likelihood. For our son, there was never a question that he would be admitted to one or more really good schools, essentially because admission to his in-state flagship was virtually certain and also an acceptable option for him, and because of rolling admission he knew about that very early in the year.
Last edited on Wed May 23rd, 2007 01:55 pm by mackinaw
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mychalwynn
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 02:38 pm |
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We substantially reduced our stress by starting early. Our son ran AAU Track and Field since middle school so we used the opportunities at out-of-town meets to visit colleges. When he entered high school we took advantage of the football camp, hosted at Amherst, to assess Amherst and the LEAD summer program, hosted at the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, to assess the Dartmouth area.
As an artist, we began attending the portfolio days when he was in the tenth grade to get a feel for what colleges would be looking for and we enrolled him in the AP Art Portfolio class in the 11th grade so that he would have his portfolio ready to submit as part of his art supplement to his top two choices, Amherst and Dartmouth. Since he applied Early Decision to Amherst we had an answer by December 15 and the rest of senior year was smooth sailing.
The stress of completing the application was greatly reduced from our having kept a binder with tabs separating awards, transcripts, community service, competitions, online and summer coursework, supplemental classes, résumé, slides of artwork, transcripts, etc., since he began high school.
When we relocated from California to Georgia in 1992 we kept our house in CA, just in case, our then, 4-year-old son chose to apply to a college beyond our financial means. Even though Amherst took our home equity into consideration we were still pleased with the financial-aid package that they offered.
Now our attention has turned to your younger son who is finishing up the 7th grade. While he loves the Amherst campus and was really impressed with how his older brother entered Amherst, he has his own plan; his own gifts and talents; and his own binder.
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 03:50 pm |
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leftcoast wrote: Anyway, I don't want to start a debate over where the lines need to be drawn -- each family can figure it out for themselves -- I just wanted to point out in the context of alleviating stress that too much "help" with the process can contribute to the stress -- and apparent lack of involvement. That is, the student's disinterest could be a reactive response to what some kids may perceive as their parent's unreasonably high expectations or obsession with the process.
The process of selecting and applying to colleges is a huge step in terms of the child's transition to adulthood and independence. It is the time when the the student makes a choice that will influence the direction of the rest of their life -- if a kid feels that a parent is taking away their ability to make that choice, or that the parent lacks faith in their ability to make or effectuate the choice.... well, it can be demotivating.
So I think it is best to let the kid call the shots as much as possible. The parents can put the kid in charge, and offer support by letting the child know that they are there to help, but only if asked -- let the kid decide which tasks should be delegated along the way.
I agree with you Leftcoast. Well said. And, I also agree again with Mack: Kids tend to work at a different speed when it comes to college applications than their parents do. Yet, somehow, *most* kids still end up getting their apps in before the deadline.
Last edited on Wed May 23rd, 2007 03:53 pm by CarolynLawrence
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WestrnMom
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 06:21 pm |
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Carolyn, that is so true! Last November I talked to two parents of boys at my son's school who said they were not getting involved at all in the college application processes, because their sons showed no interest. Yet those two boys still managed to get their applications completed. One is going to a Cal State (which to me is the most difficult application out there due to the generic nature of the detail they ask for) so he somehow managed to fill it out on time. The other got into a good UC, and also some excellent east coast LACs, even with a sem-slacker attitude about high school. He got it together enough to turn in great applications and essays. They both did with no help or input at all from their parents.
Leftcoast, I so agree with you! We always insisted our children keep their activities to managable levels, which meant that my older one could take no more than 2 AP/Honors courses a year. She could have handled 5 APs but at what cost? She knew where she wanted to end up, had the major and location picked out well in advance, and knew it wasn't necessary. My son is much better about managing time and not taking on too much in the way of ECs, and when he hasn't done it, he has suffered for it. He likes having a certain amount of downtime. Ironically, the one friend who said her daughter filled out only one application on her own, except for the essays, didn't get into any of those schools, either! She ended up going to a school that had a very simple application that she had the time to fill out herself. There is a lesson buried in that somewhere!
Last edited on Wed May 23rd, 2007 06:23 pm by WestrnMom
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leftcoast
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 08:03 pm |
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Well, I know for my daughter, each appication was done separately and each was a unique, creative project on its own - and she ended up doing 10! Most were online in different formats - she had difficulty working with the common app site, so for the common-app only schools she printed out the forms and filled them out by hand. (Which lets me out of the process entirely -- my d. has very neat and legible handwriting; I don't.)
Anyway, given my d's relative success, I think there is something to be said for the personal touch of a kid doing their own work. Sometimes there are little, quirky things -- like I remember when my son listed his employment, he wrote down "pizza monkey" - obviously not his official job title. But I think even the way a kid labels their EC's and jobs can say something about their personality, and contribute to the overall impression that someone may bet as they look through the file.
In any case... if parents stay out of the process, then the parents can't be blamed in the end if the kid doesn't get in.  I would hate to be in the position of a kid getting a rejection letter and then deciding that it was all occasioned because the parent accidentally left off a line of the EC list ......
It was bad enough when I forgot to send the check for the application fee for the LAC my son ended up attending.
I did take charge of all things related to financial aid. My money, so my forms and my deadlines.
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limner
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 10:20 pm |
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We pretty much followed the jDad/Mack school of thought by being the administrative assistants. We didn't bug him about standardized tests; S took them all once and was done.
I also think--as much as you can--let your child "own" the process. If I'm always jumping up and down with excitement, how much excitement is my child going to be able to feel? I'm hogging it all.
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Lynda
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Posted: Thu May 24th, 2007 01:10 am |
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I am certain that some days just my existence created stress. When I am happy or excited-it shows. If I liked a school, I couldn't hide the fact. My salvation was that I was a great secretary. I didn't read anything son wrote or fill out forms-he didn't need or want my help. I kept track of open houses, dates, deadlines. Each school had the envelope-maps, directions, housing etc.
We always have a calendar on the refrigerator. I transferred everything important. I had *suggested* submit days for apps, *2 days* left dates marked, *date due* marked. I had hand out rec dates marked, ck on teacher dates. The audition dates were usually discussed at dinner-son would decide when to go where. I organized the travel, packed the water and snacks. I kept track of the return postcards and followed up. We had all the postcards from one school, however they couldn't find the paperwork till I offered to send a copy of the postcard. I kept track of the thank you notes, made certain son didn't forget to send any.
Son thanked me at an audition for being such a pain about keeping the dates. He met one kid who had very limited choices because he didn't sign up for auditions in time.
If we had to do it again, I would just try to be calm and not worry. Son ended up where he belonged.
Carolyn-the blog has wonderful advice.
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Thu May 24th, 2007 02:38 am |
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Lynda wrote: I am certain that some days just my existence created stress.
Ain't that the truth.
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limner
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Posted: Thu May 24th, 2007 11:38 am |
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Lynda wrote:
I am certain that some days just my existence created stress.
LOL! Same here, I'm sure. However, S's girlfriend's parents didn't help her much at all, not even with financial forms, and S thanked us at one point for doing such things for him. I also tended to e-mail him things for his girlfriend after that. She actually asked for the AA thread on (IIRC) rec letters that I had sent S.
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Chedva
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Posted: Thu May 24th, 2007 12:20 pm |
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I'm from a different camp, apparently. My d felt overwhelmed by the entire process, at least during school times. She's one of those kids who is continually busy (her choice). She told me what she was looking for in a school. I did the research, gave her the info, she looked at websites and decided which she wanted to visit. I suggested others, she agreed (usually). I set the schedule for the visits and we went.
She then decided where she wanted to apply. That was totally her choice. She decided she didn't want to do ED. Again, her choice - we talked about the pros and cons. She asked me to fill out the basic data in the applications. I did. She asked me to create her EC "resume" - I did, she edited, I changed it.
I reminded her of deadlines. She selected the topics for her essays. She wrote them. She asked for help in shortening them. We gave her that help.
I guess you could call me a helicopter parent; I saw myself more as the administrative assistant. At her request, I tackled the tasks that I could do and left her to concentrate on the things that only she could do.
Her results were also positive (2 rejections, 1 waitlist, 5 acceptances). And I hope she was a less stressed kid for it. Of course, since we can't go back and try again, there's really no way to know. One does the best one can at the time.
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HijinksAndSue
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Posted: Sun Jun 3rd, 2007 05:21 pm |
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In our case, DD has put aside the summer to work intensively on her application package to her first choice school ... which includes not just the application itself but, more significantly, recording a CD of several of her songs to submit along with it ... and then waiting/hoping for the audition/interview date assignment at the end of the summer.
Because of her music commitments, we told her not to worry about getting a "real job" this summer ... that basically her "job" would be to fill her band commitments, do her college application and work independently (both alone and with her dad, who is a musician himself) on certain areas where she feels she needs to improve ... in the long run, we feel the possibility of merit aid from her first choice school would far outweigh whatever money she might make with a part-time job locally. (The music gigs do make money, but it all goes to the "band fund" at this point, not the individual musicians).
So once school ends this week, it will be music boot camp and college application boot camp ... her school is all ready to send her transcript along, she's already asked two of her teachers there to write her recommendations before the end of the school year (though I think she needs to remind them tomorrow), etc.
The main stress issue now, really, is that tentative balance of "other schools" ... I am pressing more to have an assortment of secondary options, suggesting a few trips here and there this summer to visit campuses, trying to figure out what her "next" choices would be and urging her to at least find out what will be needed for THOSE applications ... whereas she truly doesn't want to think about "what if" yet, even though she is by no means completely confident of getting into her first choice (I'd say she has a good shot, but is not a lock)
She's applying Early Action to her first choice school and I have no idea if they inform all of the EA applicants on the same date (January 31) or do some sort of rolling admissions plan ... I know in a perfect world for her, she'd know if she had gotten in before she had to even send in any other applications. But the world is rarely perfect ... so for now I'm laying off the "backup plan" nagging line and just letting her concentrate on the task at hand of the primary application ...
Every so often I go into her room and find her just gazing longingly at the school's list of course offerings like someone on a diet reading the menu at Cheesecake Factory ...
Last edited on Sun Jun 3rd, 2007 05:22 pm by HijinksAndSue
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