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Astrid (Moominmama)
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Posted: Sat Dec 22nd, 2007 10:01 pm |
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| Once -- you gave yourself good advice. Breathe, and have a lovely holiday season.
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onceinvincible315
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Posted: Mon Dec 24th, 2007 03:59 pm |
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I hate the US Postal Service. It is Christmas Eve. My letter from Drew University came : deferred. I am so confused and perplexed. I am numb to this. I do not know what I did wrong, what is "missing", why they did not pick me. They mentioned "sending in additional information like test scores and honors" I am sorry. I sent a three page resume. I cannot cure cancer in the next three months. I cannot start a "club". I cannot demonstate more interest. I am done. I am not going to do anything for this decision. I am sorry, I have a 4.14 GPA, editor-in-chief of Literary Magazine and Student Ink, pursued writing at two selective writing programs over the summer, tutor children twice a week at the PERC, member of the National Honor Society, three time undefeated HCIAA Seglio Champ in tennis. I do not know what else I could possibly do. I am so upset. At least I know after Christmas, the Bard letter will be thin too, if it ever comes.
I just do not understand the deferal at all. What else would they want ? I feel so dumb. I feel so dumb for telling everyone Drew was my number one. I feel dumb for waiting for this letter for the last three weeks. I feel dumb when I walk back in the hallways of my high school, knowing that I told my friends I would find out soon. I feel dumb that I am just not enough. I feel dumb. I feel dumb when my mom laughed at me when I said I was fine just now. I feel dumb that I just yelled at her to go away. I feel dumb falling in love with Drew.
I want to call Drew University and scream. I want to know why I got deferred. It is not like it was my SAT scores. I did not send them. I sent in my AP Lit paper on Kafka and existentialism which my teacher highly praised. My mom is so mad at me for feeling upset about this. "This is part of growing up" I guess I am ruining the holidays. This is important to me and no one realizes that. No one realized how important this was to me. I really just do not want to go to Drew anymore. It's over.
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mackinaw
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Posted: Mon Dec 24th, 2007 04:22 pm |
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Once, take a look at Carolyn's general advice about what to do: http://www.admissionsadvice.com/ .
I think early decision has as many quirks as regular decision, maybe different ones. You may not "have" to do anything different to be admitted in the RD round. But some awards, notices, and so on do tend to arrive early in the year, and just to show your continued interest in Drew you should be sure to send them something at some point. It may be an update of your resume, highlighting anything new, or another letter of reference.
In any case, though, it's time to think for a few days and then be sure you've got your RD bases covered, with all the materials, letters, scores, transcripts ready to go.
Last edited on Mon Dec 24th, 2007 08:44 pm by mackinaw
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WestrnMom
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Posted: Mon Dec 24th, 2007 05:33 pm |
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I know how discouraged and disappointed you are. A deferral means just that. They are throwing your application in with the regular admissions pool. This is the time to let them know, if you are still interested, that you like the school and would like to attend. If you have more information that comes up, send it. Let them know they are still on your list. Then start looking more closely at the other schools you've been admitted to and see what they might have to offer that might be even better than what Drew has. You are not alone in getting deferred from an ED or a favorite school. I know many teens my son's age who got the same letter from their #1 choices. A few were accepted in RD, but most let themselves be open to other options. Every single one of them found a school that they are now attending as freshmen. It turns out they like those schools even more than they did their first choice schools.
A bit of advice, even though you are hurting inside and angry right now, don't let it ruin your holiday and don't use it to be upset with your family. No one else in your family is going to feel as badly as you do. They want you to be happy, they want you to find a quality school that you like. But adults are more practical than teens are, especially in your situation, and we realize that a disappointment at your age is just one step toward adulthood. Be upset, be angry, be disappointed, and then pick up and move on to another school that would be delighted to have you as a student. You will learn as you get into college and finish growing up that our disappointments make us stronger. You will get through this. I know, I've done it with grad school. The first grad school I applied to sent me a letter that said "We have many qualified students who applied to this program. Your application was denied." I read that to mean I wasn't qualified and was not happy at all. Because of the way grad schools time their applications, it was too late to apply to other programs, and because I was not mobil at the time due to a job, I needed to attend a school within driving distance, so I had to wait a year to reapply elsewhere. I ended up going to a much better school in a much better program. But I remember feeling just as upset and disappointed and even foolish as you say you do, maybe even more because I was older and felt like I should have had it all together by then.
There aren't many people here today because of the holiday, but keep posting so we can give you encouragement and suggestions. And please try to enjoy your Christmas. At least you still have time to apply to other schools.
Last edited on Mon Dec 24th, 2007 05:42 pm by WestrnMom
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mominva
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Posted: Mon Dec 24th, 2007 06:04 pm |
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Once,
Although I haven't posted before, I have been rooting for you since this post started.
I am so sorry your letter was a deferral. I guess you probably have that 'pit in my stomach sinking feeling'.
If you are up for it, my advice would be to enjoy the holidays knowing that you WILL be going to college next year!!! !! Then after New Year's, look at your acceptances and decide if any of them thrill you more than Drew. If you have one or two that do, you can just let Drew make their decision without any more input from you.
If after New Year's, Drew is still your number 1 choice, send them another recommendation, updated awards, this semester's grades, and call or visit a department of interest. Let them know you love them. Give them every reason to accept you and know that you left no stone unturned.
But for today, here's a hug!
Merry Christmas!
Last edited on Mon Dec 24th, 2007 06:06 pm by mominva
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hayden
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Posted: Mon Dec 24th, 2007 06:45 pm |
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once - the three previous posters shared some very wise advice with you and I hope it gave some comfort. Everyone is rooting for you.
I just checked on Drew, and found a very interesting fact. While many schools have higher acceptance rates for ED applicants, Drew actually has a lower acceptance rate for students who apply ED than they do for students who apply regular admittance. So you should not count yourself out - just that they want to look at you as part of the regular pool, that's all.
A question for other parents out there, especially Carolyn: Once's SAT's scores are 1040 M&V, whle the middle 50% for Drew is 1060 - 12 something. Drew is SAT optional now and Once did not submit his.
Since Drew asks him for any additional information to help them, do you think he should now submit his SAT's, or not? His gpa is higher than Drew's average (his=4.something while average=3.4), but he's just a tad under the mid 50% of SAT's. But not much under. Thoughts?
And one last thought for Once: remember that 20 years from now, your college years will be long in the past. But you'll always be your parents' son. Don't lose that relationship because of some college admissions officer. You'll end up where you should be, and you'll be happy. They know that and you will one day realize it and agree with them. Remember the old line: by Halloween, everyone is at their first-choice school. So go apologize to your mother and get a well-deserved hug. If we're rooting for you, imagine how she feels !
Last edited on Mon Dec 24th, 2007 06:47 pm by hayden
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Mon Dec 24th, 2007 07:20 pm |
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| Once, I am sorry about the deferral from Drew. I know it stings. But, here is what I believe: Everyone ends up where they are supposed to be. While you may have to wait a while to learn if Drew is that place for you, you also have some wonderful schools who have already decided that they want you, and want you badly enough to give you merit money to entice you to attend. Keep your heart open to all possibilities. There is always a reason why things work out the way they do -- it may not be clear to you just yet, but it will be with the passage of time. So, do send Drew your updated grades, a letter reiterating your interest, and perhaps one or two extra recommendations. But, at the same time, see if you can visit the other schools who have already admitted you --- you may be surprised at what you discover if your heart is open. Last edited on Mon Dec 24th, 2007 07:23 pm by CarolynLawrence
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onceinvincible315
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Posted: Mon Dec 24th, 2007 07:42 pm |
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thanks everyone. i am still a mess. its christmas eve, and i shouldnt be a mess. i should be eating christmas cookies and laughing. i should not be crying for the last three hours about my future. i know i have been accepted to many good colleges however i was really positive and confident that drew was the place for me to learn and grow. i sort of regret that. they obviously cannot see some iota of determination and talent i brought forth in my application and that is rather upsetting and tragic.
drew university reminds me of what my high school did to me four years ago, around the same time. i was waitlisted at my high school four years ago. i was eventually taken off however ever since i have been at my high school, i have always been determine to prove to them i deserved to get in the first time. i would rather not do that in college. i would probably be very resentful of drew u still if i wound up going there now because they defered me and didnt think of "acceptable" the first time.
i am still confused. after they are "back from holiday", i will call my admission counselor and see what happened. i dont know, i am still upset. i just wish they would tell each applicant why they were not chosen. do they know how it feels to realize they just been defered from their number one school? do they realize when they oh so politely ask to send in additional information, that one questions what was wrong with or missing with what they sent them? i dont think so.
i am just scared. i was sure drew university was right for me, that i would go and be so happy. i felt so good while i was there. it was sat optional, i had good grades, it was in jersey, everything was good. ugh. i love how i get defer through their "priority" application.
ugh. i dont get it.
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jocelynDAD
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Posted: Mon Dec 24th, 2007 09:01 pm |
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Once:
First: 'Priority Admission" means only that it is easier to apply! It does not mean that the applicant is certain to be accepted.
Second: You live near Drew, many other people applying live near Drew, Drew is (like most LAc's) seeking a diverse campus population. Note Diverse does not only relate to race or economics, it apply geographically as well.
Ergo: Drew told you that you are qualified to attend Drew, but they are uncertain as to the final mix of students that will apply (EA+ED+RD), so they are holding your application (as many others I am certain) to see the final mixture of applicants.
Now: You are wrong to be so upset with Drew IMO! 
You applied EA, which I think is great, but you did not apply ED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If Drew was the be-all and end-all school for you, then you should have told them that by declaring ED.
You did not go ED, and I approve of that strategy, BUT by going EA, you only told Drew you might be interested!
Now Allegheny (where my S4 graduated) is an excellent school as is Washington College (which had the good judgment to accept my D3), you have choices, but will you recognize that Allegheny is in NW PA (almost in Ohio) and Washington is in Delmava and you are a geographic plus for their student population.
Once - you should get some balance, you have excellent schools that want you and no school has rejected you. Your competition for places in these schools including Drew ihave excellent BG's just as you do.
My advice is not to seek the 'dark side', but recognize that other students are facing Christmas and the New Yeear without any acceptances and maybe a few rejections.
I am told that this is the time of year that urges people to 'count their blessings', surely that is what you should do and leave the 'dark side'.
If you go back to the beginning of this search of your, I think you would be happy to be entering the New Year with acceptances and a deferral and zero rejections! 
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onceinvincible315
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Posted: Mon Dec 24th, 2007 10:13 pm |
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I was going to apply to Drew ED. I wanted to apply to Drew ED. However, Drew's expensive price-tag made me not apply to Drew ED. Even if I got into Drew today, I would still have to wait till April to figure out if I could afford it. Applying ED is extremely risky if you do not even know if you can afford it. Plus, applying ED leads to less financial aid. The Priority Application seemed like the smart choice- a early decision and no strings attached. Anyway, I am tired of contemplating about this issue.
I think I am qualified for Drew even if I live 45 minutes away. I know I do not have the "geographic" hook but I had the "gender" hook by being male since they had a lopsided male to female ratio. I think it would be rather upsetting if Drew deferred me just based on the geography. That happened to me with my high school. There was a certain number of slots open for each town in the county. Mine was the smallest bunch of slots. Ugh. I just am frustrated with the whole thing. I now have to wait agonizing months to find out a school I loved. I just feel embarassed and I think everyone would feel that way if they were defered from a school.
I am not going to the "dark side". This is probably the most stress I have endured since last April. I am pleased by the schools I have been accepted to. I will visit the ones I feel will fit me best when the time comes around. I have been waiting for this decision for the last three months- and it was unfavorable - and I have to deal with it along with everything else. I like being in control of my destiny and to have someone else basically control something as important as where you will lead your life for the next four years, in plain words, sucks. I am a teenager- I lack grace, experience, and patience. I am learning to grasp onto these essential tools through this entire process. Today was my breaking point, clearly evident by my above posts but my emotions run heavy and on my sleeves. I cannot apologize for how I feel about something I cared about passionately.
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!
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leftcoast
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Posted: Tue Dec 25th, 2007 04:05 am |
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However, Drew's expensive price-tag made me not apply to Drew ED
A quick dose of reality:
As far as I know Drew is not need-blind in its admissions policies, and it does not promise to meet 100% of need. Drew meets full need of only 25% of its students, and it meets less than 80% of need on average for most of its students. (My source of info is collegedata.com).
Colleges use "priority" applications as a means of serving their own agenda to increase the breadth their applicant pool, looking for students who will fill particular goals. Basically it is a way they can attract more students and then cherry pick among those who are among the strongest (or who best meet their agenda & recruiting goals) -- while deferring the rest to the general applicant pool.
A deferral isn't a rejection... but it is a real good sign that Drew is unlikely to give you a 100% need financial aid award.
If finances are an important part of the equation, then it really is a mistake to get your heart set on any college. Each of my kids was accepted at their first choice school and turned those schools down because of insufficient financial aid, going with their 2nd choices. There really wasn't room for anger or tears -- it was frustrating, but the bottom line was that we didn't have the $$.
I think that if you really want to go to Drew, you should let them know by providing updated information-- but at the same time you need to keep in mind that it isn't much better to get admitted without enough aid than to be turned down (although I guess the "admit-deny", which is the term colleges use when they low ball the financial aid, is a little easier on the ego).
Last edited on Wed Dec 26th, 2007 09:53 pm by leftcoast
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Canadian
Member
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Posted: Tue Dec 25th, 2007 04:10 am |
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Hi Once,
Vent away! This is a good, safe place to put your feelings. It's great that you are a person who feels deeply, and I admire your ability to write just how you feel.
A friend told me this story:
The boy she wanted to take her to her HS senior prom did not ask her out. She was devastated. She went with another guy. She ended up happily married to this guy. What she learned was, "Second choice does not mean second best".
I hope you get into Drew if you still want to. And I hope that you decide on a second choice that you are happy with. And mostly I hope you enjoy the rest of your holidays.
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hummingbird
Member
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Posted: Tue Dec 25th, 2007 05:32 pm |
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I'm so sorry about the deferral. It's not the end, you know. You might still get in!
If it makes you feel any better (and it probably won't, but I'll tell you anyway), one of the kids in my son's HS went to Drew this year as a freshman - and returned home after only a month. Even though he had made lots of college visits and did tons of research, when he actually started attending, he felt like he didn't fit in; just didn't like it. (I, personally, think he should have stuck out at least the first semester, but I'm not his parent.) Anyway, what I'm saying is, Drew isn't necessarily the be-all-end-all. You will end up where you are meant to go.
Merry Christmas to you - and best wishes for 2008.
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WestrnMom
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Posted: Tue Dec 25th, 2007 09:02 pm |
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Once, our friend's son was deferred from a school where he had been offered a talent scholarship by the department if he was admitted to the school. We all thought he was a shoe-in because they really needed his talent (sort of like the left-handed French horn player example). He was told by the admissions office, if he sent them a letter telling them how much he loved the school, planned to go, he might get an admissions letter, but by then he had lost interest in the school and never followed through. His mom did call later to ask why he wasn't admitted (I know it's a no-no but she didn't care). It turned out they didn't like his choice of a foreign language because it was a language they didn't offer at the school (small LAC). It was so arbitrary, not written up anywhere in their policies, that not only did he lose respect for the school, so did his GC.
Last edited on Tue Dec 25th, 2007 09:05 pm by WestrnMom
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onceinvincible315
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Posted: Tue Dec 25th, 2007 11:52 pm |
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I had a very nice Christmas. I hope everyone on here did as well. I feel a lot better since yesterday. I will send them a "Why Drew ? " essay which is already written. My first marking period grades were strong.. I had a 4.34 out a 4.5 1st marking period. We will see what happens. I will begrudingly have to work on their writing scholarship thing. I really do not want to put so much effort into a scholarship for a school I still have no idea if I will get into or not but I already have the poems, I just have to write what I think are the strongest and weakest points in my writing, something I have been thinking about for the last two years. I feel as though since I applied to Drew and got deferred that I should find one more school that is very similar to Drew and apply just in case it doesn't work out. The schools I have been accepted to I have not been able to discern how I will fit there but I do have pro's and con's. Maybe you guys can make sense of this. I really feel I need to visit but I cannot tell you how chaotic my family's schedule is.
Knox College - Galesburg, IL
-Pros-
1). The 14,000 scholarship they offered me!!! Their tuition is moderately priced for a LAC in the Top 100. They are known for their great financial aid and being a "value" school. Good. 2). Terrific creative writing program, hailed by many in the literary sphere. Graduate school acceptance rate is high. People who have majored in creative writing there have won national awards and attended some very amazing grad schools. 3). Personable and friendly student body atmosphere. Knox lathers on the personal attention they give to their applicants.
-Cons-
1). I have heard that Galesburg is pretty worn and the sound of locamotives can be heard at all hours. I live near a railroad, far enough I barely hear it but I am not sure how loud that locomotive in Galesburg is. 2). Illinois is very, very far from New Jersey- can someone say culture shock? 3). Lack of a reputuation in the Northeast even though I know it is an amazing school... many, many in NE will brush off Knox.
Allegheny College
-Pros-
1. The lovely 12,500 Trustee Scholarship I was not expecting. Tuition is moderately priced for a LAC. However, I read in US News their students have the most debts. 2. I am in love with their entire academic philosophy with the different combinations of subjects. Love. 3. I also love the idea for a huge senior project and their 1,500 internships they could hook up students with is very nice. 4. I have heard their campus looks like a classic LAC. I am a sucker for nice places.
-Cons-
1. The town I saw pictures of did not look at all pleasing. 2. You can only have soo many movie nights and campus meetings before you get stir crazy. 3. Frats seem prominent but I am sure I could avoid them.
Washington College
-Pros-
1. They have a very strong reputation for creative writing, offer the largest undergrate literary prize in the nation. 2. I love the location - the campus is beautiful from what I have seen in the virtual tour- the town did not look too bad... I mean, I lived in a 600 person town this summer... Chestertown cannot be that bad. 3. The 11,500 scholarship will help with the price tag but is more expensive than I think it should be.
-Cons-
1. I dislike that for English majors you either have to write a thesis or take this huge exam as the big finish. Unlike Allegheny and Ursinus and others where you can explore what you want to do, Washington seems more strict in that respect. 2. The pricetag will be a bit to handle but maybe they will offer good financial aid. 3. I am just unsure of Washington, something I cannot place my finger on.
The Richard Stockton College of New Jersey
-Pros-
1. Extremely cheap price tag... room/board/tuition is 18,900. WOW. 2. They do have my major, the faculty looks qualified. English is suppose to be one of their better majors at RSC. 3. It is far enough from home but easy to get to/leave. I think its right off the turnpike.
-Cons-
1. Lack of academic strength I feel is tangible at the other LACS. 2. Dorming is not guaranteed.. basicially a commuter school. I would dorm. 1/3 of student body dorms. Dorming is not guaranteed for anyone... first come, first serve. 3. I sort of dislike the campus, it is basicially one huge building. I have never been on campus but I prefer the very classic campuses. 4. I think I can find a more ideal student body elsewhere. I want to be inspired by my peers as corny as that sounds. 5. I want to be challenged to no end and I am really unsure RSC could do that.
Ursinus College
-Pros-
1. Every contact I had with Ursinus has been positive and personal. 2. The campus is suppose to be beautiful- suburbs but in an arms lenght to Philly. 3. I love that a internship/fellowship/summer research is required. I also love their Common Intellectual Experience. So amazing. 4. Academics are top notch at Ursinus. 5. The student body, from what I gathered is social but educated. A good balance.
-Cons-
1. Price tag. 35,000 tuition plus room/board sucks. Unsure how well their financial aid is. Also, they do not notify students of merit scholarships until March. I also applied for their 25,000 creative writing scholarship (fingers crossed if I am going to be named a finalist). 2. From facebook groups and other reviews, a big drinking school. Then again, I am sure everything school is. 3. Dumb reason, but I despise the name even though its starting to grow on me.
Hahaa. I am still waiting on Drew (duh), Elizabethtown (which I am growing more and more curious about), Bard, Ramapo, and College of Wooster (which I love) Hope all is well!
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Wed Dec 26th, 2007 07:29 pm |
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Until you get the actual financial aid packages from all of these schools, don't make any assumptions about how much student debt might be involved. Sometimes when you get down to comparing student debt, private schools work out better than public, especially when merit scholarships are factored in.
Second, I would suggest that you go on over to livejournal.com and face book to see if there are any student discussions for these schools. That can help you get a sense of what the people are like. Also, look for their student newspapers online and read back issues. If you can't visit, consider purchasing the DVD admissions tours from collegiatechoice.com - these aren't fancy, just two guidance counselors who traveled across country videotaping the actual admissions tours. It can give you a sense of what the campus looks like.
Third, here is the honest truth: I think ALL of the schools you have been admitted to are wonderful schools. In my opinion, several of them are actually BETTER academic choices than Drew (Allegheny in particular). I think it is natural to think that a school you've been able to visit (Drew) is a better fit than schools you haven't been able to visit yet, so I would definitely make visiting the top contenders in the next few months a priority. Your parents do not necessarily have to accompany you, and if money is an issue, try contacting admissions to ask if there might be any funds available to help you out. I suspect that when you visit some of these schools you will find yourself having a harder choice choosing between Drew and the others.
Finally, the fact that Drew deferred you is in no way, shape, or form, a reflection on YOU, or your worth as a person. You are still the same unique and wonderful kid you were before you were deferred. If Drew admits you, that also won't change who you are, or signal that you are somehow "better" than you are now. And, as I said above, I believe that things happen for a reason -- we may not know yet what the reason is, but perhaps part of the reason is to give you a chance to look closely at some of the other wonderful schools and see yourself there.
Hang in there -- it is all going to work out.
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WestrnMom
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Posted: Wed Dec 26th, 2007 08:54 pm |
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One suggestion following what Carolyn just said, is to try to visit even just one or two of the schools on your list and attend a day of classes. That will give you a good feeling for what it would be like to be a student at that school, to talk to other students, and to see what their professors and teaching styles are like. My son found that was very helpful in making a decision.
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onceinvincible315
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Posted: Sat Jan 5th, 2008 06:25 pm |
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| good saturday morning- accepted at elizabethtown college.
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Canadian
Member
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Posted: Sat Jan 5th, 2008 07:10 pm |
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| Congratulations.........you just keep packing the acceptances in!
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CarolynLawrence
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Posted: Sat Jan 5th, 2008 09:21 pm |
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| Congratulations, Once. Obviously, Drew is missing the boat that others are eager to catch. (I strongly suspect that part of the reason behind Drew's deferral is your proximity to campus).
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