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outwest
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 4th, 2007 |
| Location: | CA |
| Posts: | 585 |
| Mana: |    |
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Posted: Mon Jun 16th, 2008 04:33 pm |
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I have had several parents come up to me in the last week bluntly asking how my D is going to a small private, especially such an expensive one. When I tell them it is costing the same as a UC they about fall off their chairs. I can tell they are running figures in their heads trying to figure out how she did it. They know where we live. 
There really aren't any surprises here. As with my oldest, my youngest will be going to a small private for the same or less than a UC. If the student is strong, that is more than possible, but they don't believe it. One parent asked if she had a trust fund. Another asked, "How much do nurses make, anyway?" People are so nosy, especially when they have known you for a very long time.
I take special satisfaction in knowing a neighbor friends daughter will also be going to a small private next year. I told her to go for it and see what happened. She applied to the UCs and also a bunch of small schools. Her parents did not think it would work out and let her do it just because I kept telling them it is possible. The daughter wrote me a card thanking me. She is so excited about her little school where she received a half tuition merit scholarship. And it is now is costing the same as a UC, just like my D.
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WestrnMom
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | West Coast, USA |
| Posts: | 1213 |
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Posted: Tue Jun 17th, 2008 01:40 am |
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We found the same to be true when our son decided to go to a private school that offered good merit aid. It's something I would not have known had it not been for this board.
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Descartes
Super Moderator
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Posted: Tue Jun 17th, 2008 02:35 am |
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It seems that people would prefer to believe that you have a secret stash of cash rather than to think they did not do their "consumer homework" before their children picked schools.
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outwest
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 4th, 2007 |
| Location: | CA |
| Posts: | 585 |
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Posted: Tue Jun 17th, 2008 04:19 am |
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| I want to make it clear that it doesn't always work out, but it does many times. I would never suggest that someone not apply to publics who can not afford the privates. I only suggest that the possibility of going to a small school is there.If you try and it doesn't work out, well...at least you tried. But, if you don't try, you will never go to one.
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CarolynLawrence
Administrator
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 3309 |
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Posted: Wed Jun 18th, 2008 06:59 pm |
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Outwest, you are right on the money (no pun intended ) I push all of my students to apply to a combination of public AND private schools, and then see how the offers compare. But, the problem is that most families really don't understand the concept of tuition discounting --- they see that the "published price" of school A is lower than school B, and look no farther.
Another factor that I see here in California is that high schools are really set up to be "feeders" into the UC and Cal State systems. The high school curriculum is all about meeting UC/CSU requirements, and the focus on helping kids with applications (when such help is available) is on the UC and CSU application. Private schools are therefore an after thought for most families, if they even consider them. No one is telling them that other options to the UC's and Cal States exist and should be considered.
A third factor, however, is that the vast majority of students want to attend a college fairly close to home. In California, students are particularly provincial in this regard. They don't see a reason to go outside of California. Of course, there simply aren't that many really good private schools to choose from in California, so if you are deadset on staying close to home, the UC's/CSU's become the fall-back option for a lot of kids.
So, when I mention that my kids are both going out of state for college, the first question isn't usually about the cost, but rather, "isn't it hard to have your child be so far away?" Interestingly, when I work with students from other parts of the country, I generally find that they (and their parents) are much more open to exploring college suggestions outside of their region.
Last edited on Wed Jun 18th, 2008 07:00 pm by CarolynLawrence
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Mezzomom
Member
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Posted: Thu Jun 19th, 2008 03:38 am |
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My daughter will be a junior (college) in the fall, and I still get that reaction. When I tell people that she is attending her small private college for less than it would cost to attend the state school to which she applied, the reaction is typically disbelief. They're even more shocked when I point out that her FA package is 60% scholarships, 28% our contribution, and only 12% student loan/work study. Her state school package was going to be 14% scholarship with the balance to be paid out of pocket...although we were very kindly offered the "opportunity" to apply for a PLUS loan as part of our FA package at the state school.
I have quite a few younger friends with elementary-aged kids, and they're probably sick of me touting the advantages of saving through our state's 529 plan, as well as my mantra of due diligence when it comes time to start the college search. Most of them are still very much in the living-from-paycheck-to-paycheck mode (and I'm not that far removed from that reality), but I continually urge them to try to put even $10 a week into a 529...I'd really like someone to learn from our mistakes!
My daughter puts it more succinctly: she tells people she's blessed that her college is effectively paying her to attend.
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Canadian
Member
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Posted: Thu Jun 19th, 2008 06:41 am |
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"isn't it hard to have your child be so far away?"
The question I get all the time is, "Why would he want to go so far away?"
Then people get treated to a (probably boring to them) description of what makes Colorado College so special.
And speaking of provincial, I'm amazed at the number of highly educated parents who tell their kids that they can only go to school in BC. By this they really mean Vancouver and Victoria as almost no one from here goes anywhere else in BC.
What amazes me more is how accepting kids are of this and even about living at home. I would have gone nuts!
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ellenrch
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| Joined: | Fri Aug 24th, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 80 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 19th, 2008 04:44 pm |
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Speaking to the nosy questions part of your post: It's interesting that manners kind of don't apply to college admissions discussions. How much do nurses make--sheesh! The nosy questions I'm asked most frequently have to do with size and public schools: "I can't imagine my little Johnny going to such a big state school. All his classes would have 400 people, and he'd never have a full professor." In fact, two of the classes on my S's schedule so far have 20 and 30 people in them--honors courses. And even though he will have upper-level professors in those classes, who says the best teachers are the ones with the most tenure?
Luckily, nosy people don't say certain things out loud. I know plenty of parents who wouldn't be caught dead sending their kids to public schools (at any level) because they "care about their children's education."  Sigh. One of the nicest things about sending my only child to college is that I'll no longer have to work hard to avoid these conversations with people I otherwise like.
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