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RMmom
Member
| Joined: | Fri Oct 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 46 |
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Posted: Sat Oct 20th, 2007 03:22 am |
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Hi all,
My name is Sue and I have 2 children, one in 10th grade and one in 7th. My 10th grader is a slightly above average student who is struggling to find her niche. She is a varsity level athlete and an A student in college prep classes. She has struggled in honors classes because she prefers to spend time on sports, social and community involvement.
My 7th grader has been labeled gifted since kindergarten. He is in all honors courses and gets A's without effort. He is also in Boy Scouts, plays baseball and football and takes guitar lesson.
I worry about the older one. She says she wants to go to a 4 year college, but doesn't seem to want to make the effort in taking the classes and getting good grades. Last year one of her coaches told her that she really didn't need to worry about her grades, because she was a good enough athlete that colleges would want her anyway. I know this is not true, but of course she wants to believe the coach. I also know that athletics are not the most likely path to college, particularly for girls.
I have a bachelors degree from UCLA and a Masters for Pepperdine. My husband has a bachelors from MIT and a Masters from USC. High achievement and expectations run in both our families.
I look forward to hearing about the challenges others have faced and some solutions and advice.
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scoop
Member
| Joined: | Wed Oct 4th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 626 |
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Posted: Sat Oct 20th, 2007 10:31 am |
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Hi RM mom,
Welcome. Getting A's in college prep classes is nothing to sneeze at. I know many successful and happy college students who didn't take a single honors class in high school. Do you think she was struggling because of the academic load or because she didn't leave time for the work? I do give her credit for managing her time so that she can enjoy sports, community service and social life. Do you feel she is not trying her hardest? I can relate to difference in child personalities. My oldest (junior) is a very bright girl taking honors and AP classes. Sometimes I feel that she does nothing but sit behind her desk chair and do homework. I'm not happy about that. She does volunteer, take art classes and spends some time with her friends but I can't remember the last time she was able to sit down and read a book of her choosing. My other D (fourth grade) struggles more with schoolwork. She is a talented writer and loves to read but these math facts are going to be the end of me!!!! I have to remind myself that both kids are different and I am a lot older now and need to remember where I put my patience
There are a lot of experienced and kind people on this message board. I'm sure you will get some helpful advice. I look foward to hearing more about your daughter and her progress. The comment by the coach was not very smart.
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RMmom
Member
| Joined: | Fri Oct 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 46 |
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Posted: Sat Oct 20th, 2007 02:44 pm |
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Scoop,
Thanks, she is struggling in the honors course because she underestimated the work load and is not applying herself the way she should. Now that we are though the first few weeks of school and she has gotten some poor grades in the class as a wake-up call, she is focusing better. Unfortunately it may be too late. With the test scores she has gotten so far in the class, she may only be able to pull her grade up to a B at best.
"these math facts are going to be the end of me" I'm not sure yet how to do the quote thing, so I will address your math facts comment this way. Take heart. My son who is in 7th grade Algebra, all honors, 100% on the California Standardized math tests, never passed a single one of the math facts timed tests. We met with teachers, principal, and district officials to get this requirement waved. It is silly that kids should have to do rote memorization of stuff that they can figure out easily later on. Basically, he is an analytical thinker, not a memorizer.
Thank you for your kind words about my daughter. I will keep everyone posted on her progress.
Last edited on Sat Oct 20th, 2007 02:45 pm by RMmom
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binx
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 459 |
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Posted: Sun Oct 21st, 2007 01:50 am |
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Welcome, RMmom. There are lots of colleges out there. If you came here saying that your D wanted an athletic scholarship to MIT or Stanford, maybe we'd be pulling you off your cloud. But there are lots of great schools for "average" kids. After all, average means - like most of the other kids! And your D has the sports to boost her. There ARE colleges that will love to have her.
The thing I'd be careful about is letting your D use her sports to aim unrealistically high. She may well get in, but then become overwhelmed by the academics once she's there.
Do schools keep track of how many athletes graduate? Get decent grades? Finish in 4 years? Those might be questions to ask as you start your college search. If your D gets recruited, those are questions you can even ask the recruiters.
When my D was starting her college search, Carolyn suggested looking for schools that not only had what my D wanted, but who also wanted what my D had. In my D's case it was violin and overseas experience balancing her weaknesses on her transcript. In your case, you need to look for schools that have what your D wants - in terms of major, size, region, etc. Then, by scouring the websites and visiting, find out what things your D has to offer that might be especially attractive to the school.
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RMmom
Member
| Joined: | Fri Oct 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 46 |
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Posted: Sun Oct 21st, 2007 03:39 pm |
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binx wrote: If you came here saying that your D wanted an athletic scholarship to MIT or Stanford, maybe we'd be pulling you off your cloud.
We pulled her off that cloud a long time ago. Despite coaches that have been talking scholarship since 5th grade, we have encouraged academics in addition to athletics. She actually had Cal on the top of her list until recently, when she visited Stanford for Cross Country Meet and loved the campus. That was an excellent opportunity for us to encourage her to focus on her academic performance since Stanford doesn't even consider athletes who don't meet their academic standards.
At this point we are still encouraging her to dream big and strive for whatever school she wants to get in to. When the application process begins, then we will start being more realistic.
Does MIT even offer athletic scholarships? That is where my son is aiming. He is an even better athlete than his sister and has the academics to go with it. MIT is a very realistic goal for him, but some financial help would be great since we will have both kids in college at that point.
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Lupine
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| Joined: | Thu May 17th, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 144 |
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Posted: Sun Oct 21st, 2007 05:40 pm |
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Two girls from D's XC team (who also ran track, which is probably even more important) were recruited athletes -- one (the better runner) is now running for USC; the other is running for Harvard. (I'm not sure if Harvard technically recruits athletes, but they were really interested in her, and by the time of the XC banquet in early November, she knew where she was going. That student was an amazing scientist, placing very highly nationally in both Siemens and Intel competitions, was valedictorian, NMSF, IB diploma, ..., so she was as likely a slam-dunk admit to Harvard as you're likely to see, even without the running.)
Both girls were nationally ranked with excellent times from some of the national-level competitions -- both were listed in the DyeStat elite rankings.
The nice thing about runners is that the times are easy to compare to the times at colleges of interest. My impression is that you need to be ranked in the top hundred or so in the country in one or more events, and that XC is a nice-but-won't-get-you-in-on-scholarship at most schools. You have to be willing to run track too. Div. III schools really seem to want the scholar/athlete -- maybe you get admitted if you're in the 25th percentile of grades or scores (but perhaps not both) but likely not. Unless you're a football player. It sounds like students who were outstanding athletes but only good students were more likely to end up at schools like Arizona State, not Stanford.
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RMmom
Member
| Joined: | Fri Oct 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 46 |
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Posted: Sun Oct 21st, 2007 11:43 pm |
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My D runs both Cross country and Track, although she has not yet won any major meets. She ran extremely well at Stanford last month, but struggled this weekend at Mt.Sac. She also plays on a Nationally ranked Travel Softball team, but chose not to play HS softball because the season conflicts with track and she does not like the coach.
We are not looking for an athletic scholarship, but we are hoping that athletics can help smooth the path to some better schools.
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CalifCarolyn
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| Joined: | Tue Apr 4th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 573 |
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Posted: Wed Oct 24th, 2007 05:16 pm |
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Hi Sue, Welcome, I feel that we know each other already because of the fires. El Toro is a great HS (my girls went to OCHSA and have lots of friends who have siblings at EL Toro). There are great Universities out there that are under noticed.
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Consolation
Member
| Joined: | Mon Apr 9th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 502 |
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Posted: Wed Oct 24th, 2007 07:47 pm |
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RMmom wrote: binx wroteDoes MIT even offer athletic scholarships? That is where my son is aiming. He is an even better athlete than his sister and has the academics to go with it. MIT is a very realistic goal for him, but some financial help would be great since we will have both kids in college at that point.
I don't know if MIT offers athletic scholarships, but they do recruit athletes. I know a kid who has been wooed a bit by their soccer coach.
Last edited on Wed Oct 24th, 2007 07:48 pm by Consolation
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Consolation
Member
| Joined: | Mon Apr 9th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
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Posted: Wed Oct 24th, 2007 07:53 pm |
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Lupine wrote: (I'm not sure if Harvard technically recruits athletes,
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and that XC is a nice-but-won't-get-you-in-on-scholarship at most schools.
Harvard does recruit athletes, but it doesn't give them athletic scholarships. Same thing with the other Ivies--it's the conference rule.
A friend's son definitely got into an Ivy because of XC, but he was ranked in the top ten nationwide. Maybe even top 5.
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WestrnMom
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Fri May 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | West Coast, USA |
| Posts: | 1267 |
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Posted: Wed Oct 24th, 2007 10:27 pm |
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RMmom, when one child is a stellar student who can manage anything, the other one seems less of a student in comparison. If your daughter has learned that she needs to work hard and is able to pull her grades up, even to B's, she's learning skills she will need in college. I would say Stanford is a reach even for students who maintain A's, so it might not be in her best interest to let her think she can get in there, unless reaching for Cal or Stanford helps her focus and get her work done. Even so, you want to start preparing her now for less competitive schools. Once she gets in, she will need drive and hard work to succeed. You want her in a school where she is going to be successful. Finding that balance is a challenge.
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